It's All Holiday Up In Here

Confession.

I've been jamming to holiday tunes for a few weeks now.

Sorry I'm not sorry.

This girl right here loves her some holiday cheer.  As in, wants to wrap her arms around it, deck the halls with it, tie jingle bells to her car, light the house, sprinkle holiday love all around loves the holiday season.

I am unashamed.

No, you won't find me baking up massive batches of cookies.  (mostly because I hate baking cookies-they're so fussy)  You won't find our calendar crowded and crossed with every community holiday event we can find.  Our house doesn't turn itself into a holiday warehouse this time of year.  I try to keep our gift-giving list short.  I shop local and online (and will finish up most of our shopping later today!).

I will fill our house with good smells of meals we love and cook each year for the holidays.  I carefully curate a list of gifts for our family and friends that doesn't include gift cards, but does include gifts I have sought out specifically for the people we love and adore.  We have little traditions that have slowly become part of our lives-from buying new holiday ornaments each year for each other to making marshmallows for homemade hot cocoa on Christmas Eve. 

What I love most about this time of year is the nesting my family begins to go through.  By the time we reach the end of the holidays, we are prepared for the winter ahead.  We are cozy and snuggly and warm.  Winter winds can howl away. 

So I'll happily sing my carols of joy.  I'll wrap gifts as they arrive on my doorstep.  I'll address cards to send to those far and near.  And I will enjoy each day this season with those who fill our home.  Happy holidays readers.  May yours be filled with simple joys!

Thursday is the new Black. Come again?

And now I must rant.

I love the holidays.  I am totally and completely psyched for Thanksgiving.  I already know what I'm wearing to both family celebrations to accommodate my growing girth based on the respective menus.  My siblings and I have coordinated wine selections.  My in-laws have decided on proper cocktails (as we have several who are allergic-tragically-to wine and beer).  Post-Thanksgiving I am ready to deck the halls and trim our house to its rafters with Christmas cheer.  I am formulating gift ideas already.  I have a schedule for the holidays laid out, down to grocery shopping dates and when I can cook and freeze items for celebrations. 

This girl is ready.

Then this morning, as I was readying myself to work, the crew on my favorite morning news show was talking about various retailers moving black Friday shopping to Thursday.  Come again?  Thursday? As in the Thanksgiving holiday? The day we all gather together and are thankful and full of food and family? Now we must depart from our celebrations early and shop? Oooooohhhhh am I ever mad. Angry doesn't even encompass how I feel about this. 

At first I was angry about the retailers cutting into family time.  Is nothing sacred? Must we have our meals early? Make Thanksgiving breakfast so the shopping can commence? Will it come to that? (I'm sure it will) I have visions of families across the country having their delicious meals, then eyes shifting and legs dancing under the tables as individuals become anxious to leave.  Food barely digested.  Drinks barely finished.  Pumpkin pie untouched.  This is not what the day is meant to be.

Then I really started to think about it.  I used to work in retail as a college student and young teacher.  I remember how early I had to report to work on black Friday and the day after Christmas.  It was freezing cold and dark.  And that was ages ago before people hit the stores before midnight.  Now retailers are asking their employees to work ON Thanksgiving.  And if the stores are opening at say, 7:00pm, the employees are having to arrive hours earlier to ready the establishment, therefore cutting short their day off entirely.  And don't tell me this is a choice.  For the vast majority of these employees, this job is their only source of income, and the employer demands all hands on deck for black Friday (Thursday).  If you aren't there, you are without employment. 

I have heard all the arguments-that those working should be happy they have a job.  That others have to work on holidays (specifically health care workers, military, etc).  That if you chose to work retail this is part of the gig.  Yet I believe there are arguments to each point.  While anyone who is working should be happy to do so, it should not be at the cost of family and happiness.  Work is not the be all and end all.  Nor does having a job and being an employee constitute slave labor/beck and call.  Others do work on holidays, typically in jobs that don't answer to hours.  Please don't equate our consumerism to lifegiving professions like nursing or lifesaving/guarding professions like what my stepson-in-law is doing with the US Navy.  And while many do choose to work retail for a variety of reasons, some are working these jobs because there are no others to be found.  They have become trapped into part-time labor positions that lead nowhere.  So they don't have a choice.

It really boils down to a few simple things.  We have gotten greedy.  On both sides.  We want to make money as fast as we can, and as much as we can.  We also want to spend it on items we won't even remember come next holiday season.  I don't believe money is evil.  However, I see the greed eating away at so much.  I try to enjoy the season to the fullest.  I want time with my family.  Time to enjoy their personalities that make me laugh.  Time to fill their bellies with food I love to cook.  Time to curl up on the couch with my dearest husband while the fire glows and the lights twinkle.  I want to seek and find gifts that make me smile when I think of the person they will make a home with.  Even if the gift isn't a 55 inch flat-screen television bought at midnight on black Friday at rock-bottom prices.  Even if it is something small that was made in my kitchen.  I made it (or found it) with thoughtfulness and love.  And gave it with the same emotions.

I think it is time to re-assess.  Think about the holidays and what they mean to you and yours.  I'm not going down the religion path here.  Just the idea that this time of year needs to be reigned in a little bit.  Be kind to one another.  Reach out to those you care for, and those you may not know who are struggling and in need.  Make a commitment to do so throughout the year.  And on Thanksgiving, stay home with your family so others may do the same.

Holiday Haze

Yesterday I had to make a run to The Anderson's (for those of you not from Toledo, it is a general store of goodness and light and lots of yummy things).  I was on a mission to buy plant stakes and cookies.  On my way back to the garden section I hit a detour.  You see, their Christmas Tree section, filled with lights and music, had just been set up.  The overhead lights were dimmed, Christmas carols played softly, and trees twirled on their bases.  I slowed my pace a bit and felt my breath catch.  Normally I boycott all things Christmas until after Thanksgiving.  I am a Thanksgiving freak.  I love the holiday of food and family.  I love that I only have to cook and not shop and wrap and plan for weeks and weeks and weeks.  Last year I wasn't feeling the whole Christmas thing for many reasons.  We had a tough fall around here.  Our son had his tonsils and adenoids out a few days before Christmas.  I just felt overwhelmed and exhausted.  But yesterday at The Anderson's...well...

I felt excited.

Somehow I am feeling my love for the Christmas holiday season creeping back into my soul.  I am anxiously looking for reasons to drag out my snowman decor a few days early.  I want to start to organize and stage my decorating day.  I am ready to make lists for shopping.  I want to get my cards ordered and envelopes addressed.  I find myself thinking about how our house is going to look, all decorated and lit up. 

I try not to put too many expectations on any holiday.  I just want to enjoy the time with my family.  But by my own nature, I start with anticipation, then excitement, then I explode enthusiasm all over the place.  This can have disastrous consequences.  So while I feel my holiday haze coming over me on this November 5, I will do my best to keep it in check.  Not to take on too much.  Be as low key as possible. 

But I can't really help myself.  I do love Christmas.  So very much...

Being Awesome

Today is a bonus. Leap Day. An extra day tacked on to February every four years.  We get 24 extra hours this year, and I have a proposal for all of you-go about your day today and be extra awesome. You don't have to rush out there and cure cancer, save endangered species, or patch holes in the ozone.  No, I'm talking about being extra specially awesome in your regular day.  It isn't often we are given 24 extra hours.  And as a mental health professional, I can't tell you how many times I hear students of mine say "If only I had just one more day with...." So, here is your extra day.  And here are some of my suggestions to inject some awesome in your day...

Call someone who is in a rough patch: Remember that old AT&T commercial? Reach out and touch someone.  Do it! They will love hearing your voice, words of encouragement, or simply feeling reached out to.  Even if you end up on their voice mail, a simple "I'm thinking about you" will do the trick.

Work-out: If you already do this regularly, switch up your routine and try something new.  If you don't just head outside for a walk, dance around your living room, take a bike ride with your kids, or any other easy activity that gets your blood pumping.  It will make your body feel better, your soul happy, and you may even sleep better tonight! Can't beat that, can you?

Try a new food: If you are a cook, grab something new at the market to fix tonight. Or if you eat out, change your routine and hit up a new restaurant with the family or friends.  Your taste buds will thank you on this Wednesday night!

Enjoy a favorite dessert/drink/film: Either on your own or with someone you adore.  Whichever you prefer. Indulging in something that you wouldn't normally do on a weeknight feels sinful, fun, and delightful.  And it is a fantastic way to cap off your bonus day of the four years. 

Feel free to add to the list, or tell us how you decided to be extra-awesome today.  Whatever it is! Just remember whenever you ask for "one more day" here's your chance! So go out and seize your opportunity!  Happy Leap Day!

SOTU Fun

Last night was a family holiday of sorts.  You see, I am a political junkie.  Which side of the aisle, I will allow you to draw your own conclusions (as I decided when I started this blog to not get political).  However, I never, ever miss a State of the Union address.  Ever.  Agree or disagree with the current administration, this is our nation and it is an important speech.  And I love all the posturing.  The refusal to applaud.  The sideways glances.  The pregame and post game analysis by the experts.  I simply adore it. 

When I got married to my husband, I not only gained a wonderful spouse, but a stepdaughter who adored the SOTU as much as I did.  (well, so does my husband, but he doesn't appreciate the speech in the same manner as my stepdaughter and I do...you'll see)  I discovered this the very first time we watched together and she was shouting at the television similar things that I was thinking.  And a family tradition was born.  At the time, she was 14.  Now it is nine years later.  She is married and living 600 miles away.  Technology is awesome.  We have a transcript of last night.  Here is some of what transpired...

(just so I don't confuse you...I color coded our transcript with me in the black and her in the blue...fun times)

Jill's eggplant dress...love it.
She is sitting with Mark Kelly.  In an equally handsome eggplant tie.
Love. Her. (we are talking about Gabby)
And her husband looks so cute when he looks at her...
Michelle looks awesome! Love the bling:)
She is so way better looking than Calista Gingrich. Calista looks like a snowy owl.
With bad botox.
Hahahaha. Snowy Owl.

Grrrrr...Jack is out of bed upstairs and I don't want to get off my butt to go yell at him.  So he gets to roam free for now. #SOTUGetOutOfJailFreeCard
If the GOP gets up without Boehner's permission he will laser them with his jaundiced eyes.
Hahaha
He is such a petulant child.
Petulant. Yes he is.
Oh you meant Jack!
No I meant Boehner!
Jack is an angel!

That's the worst being right there with the camera on all the time.
What if you had a poky booger?
Or an inner ear itch?
I think Biden does have fleas
Or between the boob itch?
Or dandruff?
Or what if you sneezed really loud?
Or farted.
Or if the guy next to you had a silent but deadly.
Hahaha...butt noises at SOTU
Or if POTUS had a butt noise!

And saving the best for last...which doesn't have anything to do with SOTU, but me not being able to control auto-correct...

Side note: auto correct on iPad now acknowledges my fowl language.  Even Fixes it when I misspell it.
Thank you Steve Jobs.
Damn. Foul.  Grrrrrrrrrrr.
I didn't mean BIRD language!!!!!
Cluck cluck.
Fowl language!!!

There's more...something about Obamatron, a cattle prod, and a midget, but it doesn't really make sense unless you read it alongside the SOTU.  Basically, we should be hired by CNN to live tweet the entire speech.  It would be like Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin on New Year's Eve, only much funnier.  And censored. 

Tomorrow, back to regular programming readers.  I promise no politickin, no language, and no multi-colored posts.  And no FOWL words!

Holy Holidays

Holy as in-IWasSoStressedIThrewThingsAndYelledForNoGoodReasonAndAmOnlyNowStartingToComeDownOffMyCrazyLadyPlace

Here is what the last seven days looked like for me...

Baby sister arrived home from a semester in Florence, Italy so I threw her a welcome home dinner-Thanksgiving style.  Only I have never cooked a turkey in my life, and to make matters worse, the butcher didn't get the two turkey breasts in until the last possible second.  Heads were about to roll.  But alls well that ended well.  She arrived home 40 some minutes late, the turkey breasts were delicious, food was consumed, wine was drank, and we went to bed with full tummies...except our boy Jack because...

He was getting his tonsils and adenoids out in the morning! We were up bright and early the next day for our trip to the surgery center.  Our boy was chipper and happy until post-surgery when he was, well, angry and on meds.  He wanted his IV out.  He wanted to get his clothes on.  He wanted to GO HOME.  He wanted nothing to do with Popsicles (he hates em) or jello, or juice.  He was one pissed off little dude.  Of course I would be too.  A cup of juice later and a few pain meds and we were packed up and headed home.  Problem was, he was pain-free enough that the whole "resting in bed" was not on his agenda.  Even if it was on ours.  We had a party the very next day.  So I spent a good portion of my day yelling at poor boy to just "lay down so you don't bleed out" instead of cooking as I had planned.  By the time I got down to making the dough for the doughnuts and the homemade marshmallows I was aching from head to toe, near tears, and snapping at my poor husband.  And it was 1am.  And we had to give our boy medicine every few hours.  Fun times.

Then it was time to party.  All was going smoothly.  I was mainlining coffee like no one's business.  The prime rib my husband makes was in the oven on time and causing strangers to stand in line out front with plates and knives.  Potatoes were cut and in water.  Drinks were mixed and on stand-by.  The cheese tray was beautiful and sitting at the ready on our new bar.  So I took a shower.  Because it was time and I wanted to be pretty for our guests.  But my blow dryer decided this would be a golden opportunity to stop functioning completely.  Without warning.  And thus began my descent into madness.  I became a raging Medusa.  I screamed.  I threw the blow dryer.  I threw its components.  I slammed drawers, doors, brushes, trash cans and anything else that came into view.  I yelled at my poor husband.  And then it happened.  I slammed the bathroom door, turned and flew like Bambi onto the bathroom floor.  My knee still looks like it swallowed a golf ball.  Luckily this snapped me out of my rage (into tears of pain) long enough to become resourceful and thank my lucky stars I'd purchased a straightening iron the previous day.  Hair was fixed just in time for our guests to arrive.  Clark Family Christmas went off without a hitch.  Prime Rib was consumed in obscene amounts.  Whiskey sours were downed by the adults.  Then mulled cider with homemade fried doughnuts.  Children and adults opened gifts with squeals of delight.  I felt the warm embrace of family and sighed many deep sighs.

Now it is Thursday...five days post-rush.  I am just now starting to feel human again.  Just now starting to feel like I can stop pulling my hair out at the roots.  Sidenote-if I did that, I wouldn't need a blow dryer though!  I am still a bit snappy, but it is easing each day.  Our boy is healing remarkably well from his surgery.  We are sleeping through the nights again.  I am looking forward to Christmas Eve when we cook up a delicious gourmet meal for the three of us, drive to see the luminaria in New Rochester, sing holiday songs in the car, open a few gifts by firelight, watch a holiday movie and have homemade hot cocoa.  It is just what my soul needs.  A perfect, delicious, quiet night with my two favorite boys.  Christmas couldn't bring me a better gift.

Happy Holidays readers.  I hope yours are filled with the best of memories, family and friends.

Sharing Ohio Love

I don't know about you, but I've been following the "Made In America" series on ABC News lately.  I completely adore it.  As a family, we do all we can to support local merchants, producers, and companies who employ our neighbors and communities.  This series is all about putting people back to work and supporting our local economies.  By committing to buy local and American made products, we can do our part to boost our economy and homegrown companies.  Just by shopping! How can you not love that concept?  Today I took a look at the list for Ohio, and here is what I found...



And that is only the tip of the iceberg!  For one of our family gatherings, we do a gift basket exchange instead of gifting to each person.  Our basket is an "Ohio Love You" themed gift basket...filled with jams, pickles, sauces and more that I've made over the summer months from produce gathered from our garden and the gardens at our CSA.  We also stick in other Ohio made products...raw Ohio honey, Middle West Spirits OYO Whiskey, and more.  It is my hope to show our family that Ohio products are the best around, and what I've created for them in our kitchen is straight from the heart to theirs. 

I know that many of you have your holiday shopping done, but if you don't take the time to look into locally-owned shops and for items made as close to home as you can get.  The map I've linked you to above is a great place to start.  Believe me when I tell you, these merchants not only will provide you with a great product but will also build great relationships with their clients-in ways you just won't find with big box stores.  So go forth readers! Find your small town merchants, your local treasures, your made in America goodies and gift away! Happy shopping and Merry Christmas!

On kindness

Oh how I hate it when people are rude.  Abrasive.  Mean spirited.  Where does this type of behavior get us, really? 

I was reminded of these feelings today when reading this post on Karen Wolrond's blog-chookooloonks.  It was a brief testimonial about how a simple kindness can not only lift the spirits of the person you pay the kindness to, but to those around you and your own.  During our hectic holiday celebrations, we need to remember this lesson. 

Just last week I was irritated beyond belief.  At a certain online retailer.  At the postal service.  At anyone and anything that came across my path in relation to a gift we had ordered for our son over a month ago and seemed to vanish into the ether.  I contacted customer service, as instructed, on the appropriate date, and began to explain my problem to a very nice woman.  I could tell in her voice she was bracing herself for an onslaught of anger and venom.  When I assured her I was not angry at her, that I knew this was not her personal fault (after all, I highly doubted she tracked the package from New Jersey to Toledo, stole it, then made it back to her desk to receive my phone call), and that I promised not to yell at her once, her tone relaxed completely.  She tried everything she could to resolve the issue for me-sadly ending in a credit to the account as the item was sold out, and wished me a merry Christmas as we parted on the phone (after talking about our respective children).  It wasn't the outcome I'd hoped for, but I can honestly say that by being kind to someone who works, in what I assume to be a wretched job at any time of the year-most especially now, I walked away feeling that I helped her have a better day and resolved the issue on my end as well.

Sometime over this holiday season, take the time to pass along some kindness to those in your path.  Especially those who are working jobs in retail, food service, customer service, or in the USPS (UPS or Fed Ex too!).  They are all doing the best they can to manage chaos right now, and the more kindness we all shower on them, the happier our holidays might be. 

And please, don't run people over in the parking lots.  Do that one for me.

Why I hate cookies...

Oh Christmas season, you come to me laden with cheer, tinsel, twinkle lights, and a healthy dose of guilt.  Why, oh why, must you bring that last piece?  I mean, I have several strikes against me in the guilt arena already...I'm a mom (strike one-you can't ever live up to the expectations of your child) I was raised in a Catholic household (strike two-oh the everlasting guilt laid on thick by the Catholic church) and I am a generally anxious people-pleaser (strike three-always worrying if everything is okay).  See? I don't need the holidays to make it worse!

So when Christmas rolls around, I do my best to minimize it.  I have my decorating down to a science.  I stay home on black Friday and get everything done on that day.  Bam. It is Christmas. I menu plan for each event we host way in advance and do plenty of shopping to make sure we have what we need and then some.  We like a well-fed and watered crowd.  I shop online so I don't have to spend more time than needed away from my little family during the hectic holiday time.  Yet somehow the evil elf guilt creeps up on me and sits on my shoulder.  Today he (yes, I have decided it is a boy) is hanging around because I totally forgot about St. Nick's Day.  Last night our son should have put his shoe out for St. Nick to leave him some treats.  But I didn't have treats for St. Nick to leave.  So I forgot.  And elfin guilt cackled at me.  Grrrrrr. 

Then there is the whole baking with my boy complex I have.  I adore to bake.  Love it.  Cakes, pastries, pies, custards.  Oh I can bake you a layer cake that will make your tongue slap your brains out.  And my son loves to help now that he is getting to be big enough.  I'm teaching him that you have to put the flour into your measuring cup with a spoon and heap it then level it with a knife-not scoop it in and compact it.  Put ingredients away as you are done using them to make clean-up go faster.  How to alternate your wet and dry ingredients when making a cake so it comes out perfectly.  He is a quick study and loves to help. 

However...

I despise baking cookies.  Despise it I say.  And to make matters worse, I have a son who adores eating them.  I think my hatred stems from all the scooping, shaping, trays, racks, crumbs...the mess just seems to morph and grow.  It is so irritating.  My mom was (is) a wonderful cookie baker.  When December rolled around she baked and baked and baked until the house was filled with cookies of every shape and size.  We had cut-outs, rolled cookies, scooped cookies, shaped cookies.  Cookies with fruit, chocolate, sugar, candy.  I loved baking with her.  My poor son won't have those memories at holiday time because I simply cannot bring myself to stand in our kitchen and do it.  One batch of peanut butter kisses is all I'm good for.  What mom hates baking cookies? My elfin guilt cackles at me whenever a cookie special pops up on the Food Network.  I cringe in horror. 

Yet my son will have other memories I tell myself.  We make homemade marshmallows (so easy-peasy, so yummy) for favor bags at our family holiday gatherings and for our Christmas Eve traditional homemade hot cocoa.  He loves to eat the fluff off the whisk.  We tell the family story of our Christmas tree.  We go to a tiny town on Christmas Eve and walk the streets lit only by luminaries.  We may not bake together at Christmas, but we have our own traditions he will remember.  So be gone elfin guilt.  I may not be a perfect mom, but I am his perfect mom.  And these Christmases will be his perfect childhood ones. 

Thanks for (not) consuming

I know, I know...I've been a bad blogger lately.  I've been a bad tweeter, facebooker, emailer, and general social butterfly.  So very sorry readers.  Tis the season of holiday hectic life and work picking up the pace from slow days of counseling junior high students to paperwork piles so high I can barely see the wee ones when they're sitting in front of me.

Side note-if I ever do truly go missing between now and June-search my office.  I am certain I will have fallen prey to one of these obscene stacks of career center applications, special needs documentations, scheduling materials, etc. 



Oh, the joys

 Anyhoo...happy Thanksgiving week everyone! May I just say, this is my favorite of the holidays?  Because it is.  We are given an excuse to devour as many calories as humanely possible in a single sitting, then graze the remainder of the day, watch football, drink cocktails, wine, or beer, and generally make merry with the family.  No strings attached.  No gifts to purchase.  No major decorations to hang.  Just food, family and fun.  I'm fortunate enough to celebrate Thanksgiving twice-this Thursday and again on Sunday.  Each with its own unique traditions and merriment.  One family we add our Ukrainian twist with homemade perogies to the offerings the other has invented the culinary delight known as "stuff puppies" (stuffing thrown into the deep fryer after the bird comes out).  I am beside myself with the cravings for both celebrations already.

What I am irritated about though, and what prompted me to carve a few moments out of my day, is all this Black Friday madness I'm pelted with every which way this year.  Is it just me, or does this year seem worse than ever?  I read that some stores are opening on Thanksgiving?  Whaaat? Aren't we all supposed to be lounging on the couches of our families, bellies full, buttons taken out one, napping on shoulders and snoring lightly?  The fact that there will be people rushing their feasting and togetherness to go and shop just makes me all grinchy.  And the fact that those places (which I refuse to even name) have employees who will have to cut short their own celebrations to report for work.  Ugh.  No sale, no deal, no amount of consumerism is worth this.  What part of that shopping experience on Black Friday is even enjoyable?  No thanks.  I will not partake.  My family and holiday is more valuable than any deeply discounted piece of junk that I could line up in the cold to buy. 

Because this, this is NOT pleasant.

I plan to spend my Friday (you know, the day after Thanksgiving) putting up all of our holiday decorations.  Eating leftovers from my mom's house in a form unrecognizable from the day before.  Staying in pajamas.  Getting ready for the second Thanksgiving feast.  There will be no shopping, no consumerism going on.  This does not mean I won't do holiday shopping at all.  But most of mine will be through local merchants, online shopping (hooray for Etsy!), putting together gift baskets of homemade goodies, and utilizing price comparison apps on my smart phone (Red Line is our favorite).  I refuse to stress over this.  And absolutely refuse to allow consumerism to drive a peaceful holiday season with my family.