Thursday, March 10, 2011

Exhale. Breathe. Breath.

Today I visited yet another medical professional in the quest to find out what the heck is going on with this crazy mess of illnesses I am accruing.  I told her in no uncertain terms that this school year is trying to kill me.  Either it will, or June will come and I'll survive.  I think somewhere in our conversation I asked if she could prescribe a bubble for me to live in.  


I was only half kidding.


As we talked, she asked me how my year was going, how I was feeling emotionally/physically/etc.  Her diagnosis was partially medical, but partially me.  You see, some of my medical problems seem to be stemming from stress.  Basically my body is worn out and instead of me dealing with feeling overwhelmed and stressed like a sane human being, I internalize it and it manifests itself in all sorts of fun ways.  Let me tell you, I'm a walking case study.


So, we continued our conversation, with much crying and snot-faced ugliness on my part.  It is a good thing I adore this woman, because I came darn close to getting the snubs in front of her, and we all know how ugly those can be.  She just held my hand and talked me through my mini-breakdown.  I felt much better afterwords.  Her suggestion was to first take the prescription she gave me and get started on it.  Then, to start to deal with stress better.  No specific advice on that front...just to start to find what works for me and do it.  To take better emotional care of myself.  


Has this woman not ever met me?! 


Now I have a job to do.  I need to find ways to cope with stress.  As a reformed Catholic, I gave up Lent years ago, but this year, I think I'm going to take these 40 days as a challenge.  It seems like a good enough time as any.  Instead of giving something up, I'm going to start being good to me.  Find a good morning routine that starts the day right.  Work on stress levels.  


I can do this.  I can be a better me.


Either that or June will come and who knows what!


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