Monday, August 9, 2010

A body of work

So for this past year, I have been on a mission to get healthy.  Not to lose weight.  Not to get into a certain pair of jeans.  That was the me ten years ago.  It is funny, after having our son, my body image has shifted into an entirely different realm.  I am really okay with myself.  I am thankful every day for what my body does for me.  I feel really good about how I look.  There isn't an "ideal" that I need to be.  I wish I could go back to my 21 year-old self and explain that to her.  But I think I had to go through several things to get to this place. I had to meet an amazing man who loves everything about me, even the knees that I used to despise.  I had to have two pregnancies, and only one of which ended in a child.  I had to watch my body move through pregnancy, growing and stretching in every direction, without any control over what happened.  I had to go through natural childbirth just to prove that I could.  Then I had to surrender myself to the fact that I wasn't so young anymore, and weight just didn't come and go like it used to.  Today, I'm okay with that, because I do some awesome things with this vessel I get to use in this life.

That being said, I want this vessel to be healthy.  I don't want a six-pack.  I don't want to be sinewy and ripped.  I don't want to be a stick.  I want to have some meat to me.  I want to be strong enough to keep up with my son as he gets bigger and stronger.  I want to be able to get a kayak and use it.  I'd like to return to skiing again.  And when I have grandkids, I want to be as active as my grandmother was.  In order to do this, I need to take slightly better care of myself.  In that bend, I am using the return to work as the jolt in my summer routine to add a few other things to my life.  I'm adding four to five moderate workouts a week to my schedule.  Nothing major...just hopping on the trusty elliptical after our son hits the sack each night.  Breakfast and lunch will become meals I don't think about anymore, but eat the same very healthy food for each day.  Dinners at home each night.  But at the same time, we want to indulge.  We love our fried food, our red meat, our desserts...so two dinners a week will be for fun.  That sounds like a life that makes me healthier, stronger, and still happy.  

Here's to being a better woman...for me.  And for being around a few extra years on the end hopefully.  I promise when that time comes, I'll wear high heel boots and have lots of lipstick just like grandma did.  She would think that is pretty awesome.


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