Today I am exhausted. Eyes must be propped open on toothpicks just to stay open. Limbs are filled with lead. I am moving with the slowness of one stuck in a vat of molasses.
We spent our weekend travelling. The primary objective was a Rosanne Cash concert to see in Colonial Willamsburg. It was a much needed escape for me and my husband. A long dinner out over wine and good food. A weekend spent in one of our honeymoon spots. Meeting up with my stepdaughter and her husband for lunch since we were close enough to see them. An evening filled with good music and laughter. Conversation that wasn't constantly interrupted by a kindergartner's stream-of-consciousness banter. While a substantial chunk of Saturday and Sunday were spent in airports and on airplanes getting to and from our destination, I can say without reservation it was just what we needed. Even the time travelling. We needed the reconnection. Life has a way of getting in the way of couples. No matter how much we try to be present in our relationships. The minutiae of day-to-day life gets in there and can make you feel, well, just, meh. A weekend like this was just what the doctor ordered. Of course now all I want to do is be at home, with the fireplace roaring, snuggled down on his shoulder watching Out of Africa on repeat. So then there's that...
One of the sweetest things this weekend though had nothing to do with us. It came at the tail end of our trip. We were rushing to make our connecting flight back to Ohio (which ended up delayed by several hours). Once at the gate, I sat down breathlessly next to a woman with the most adorable little baby girl ever in the history of the universe. Husband continued on to find a restroom. I gushed to her about how sweet her little sleeping girl was. She told me she had been travelling from Nigeria and asked about the delay. Then asked if I had a phone she could borrow to call her husband.
Come again? She's been travelling from Nigeria. Alone. With a nine-month old baby girl? Let's all pause for a moment in respect for this mother.
So the rest of her story was all the more sweet. Her husband had left in August to start his MBA program at The Ohio State University. Their daughter was only 3 months old then. They haven't seen each other since. She was on her way to Columbus to join him with their little girl in her arms. Non stop flying, connections, more flying. Hasn't ever been out of Nigeria in her life. I have to mention here she was wearing sandals. She spoke to her husband on my phone for a bit, telling him she loved him, she was sorry about the delay, they would be there soon, the baby was fine, etc, etc. It was adorable. I wanted to hug her, but didn't want to wake the baby. When husband arrived back from the restroom we all chatted on and off through the duration of the delay. Once we boarded our flight she disappeared from view until landing. I saw her at the gate where she asked how to get to baggage-and urgent look on her face. I felt tears stinging my eyes with joy for her. A little while later as we exited the airport to our shuttle I saw to my right a taller man holding up that little, beautiful baby girl in his arms, smiling ear-to-ear, as her mother beamed from a bench below. The family was reunited on a cold and snowy Ohio evening.
Yes, it was a perfect weekend. With a perfect ending. We even got to reunite with our boy who wanted to stay longer with his friends. Which is completely understandable. The beginnings of independence are blossoming in him.
For now though, I will get back to work and hope that this next mug of coffee will wake me up. Or something like that...
notes from the middle
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Monday, February 4, 2013
Thursday, December 13, 2012
He Asked and I Said Yes
I have a little tickle in the back of my throat this morning, my head hurts, and I'm in full-blown denial that I may be coming down with exactly the same plague my spouse has been suffering from. But it does seem fitting that today of all days I am getting sick.
Ten years ago this very morning I was teaching English to a bunch of raucous teenagers while fighting off what would become the first case of strep throat I'd had in over 15 years, when I was summoned to the office. There, in the principals office I was given a ring. By the man who would become my husband who would ten years later give me the plague that I am coming down with now.
It wasn't until later that evening that he "officially" put a ring on it. (we didn't want to disrupt the entire school day by having me show up for my afternoon classes sporting a rock that hadn't been there in the morning-bling is quite distracting to teen girls) I had gone home on a snowy afternoon to take a long hot bath, lots of medicine and a nap. I may have been blinded by a 104 degree fever, but I couldn't stop smiling while looking at that ring.
Ten years ago this very morning I was teaching English to a bunch of raucous teenagers while fighting off what would become the first case of strep throat I'd had in over 15 years, when I was summoned to the office. There, in the principals office I was given a ring. By the man who would become my husband who would ten years later give me the plague that I am coming down with now.
It wasn't until later that evening that he "officially" put a ring on it. (we didn't want to disrupt the entire school day by having me show up for my afternoon classes sporting a rock that hadn't been there in the morning-bling is quite distracting to teen girls) I had gone home on a snowy afternoon to take a long hot bath, lots of medicine and a nap. I may have been blinded by a 104 degree fever, but I couldn't stop smiling while looking at that ring.
Ten years later, she fits a little tighter, has gotten some partners in crime by way of a wedding and an anniversary band, has a few scratches and dings, but shines just as brightly. I still look at her at least once each day and smile. I rarely take her off, so she's been caked in perogi dough, covered in gardening dirt, and washed with saltwater. She stands up and away from my finger proudly-so she has scratched a few faces, arms, and once a leg in her lifetime. For a few months in my life she hung around my neck on a chain while a small man grew. Someday she will be passed along as a family heirloom.
For now though, she will continue her reign on my aging left hand. A reminder of a snowy December day. Because he asked. I said yes.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Your Parents
So my husband and I escaped our hectic lives for a bit over the weekend. Saturday morning we hit the road and left our rambunctious five year-old behind with my parents. For about 36 hours we reveled in adult pleasures. (get yer minds outta the gutters people) We wandered the city streets and shopped without a wee one asking when we would get candy or toys. We went into a liquor store and didn't worry about gasps about bringing a kid in (or some little hand knocking glass bottles over). We watched an entire sporting event from start to finish without having to take 15 bathroom breaks and 10 trips to concessions. We had dinner and cocktails in a whiskey bar. With grownups. We slept-in. It was glorious.
Yesterday was supposed to be a return to reality-my day back to work and our son's return to school. Grandparents are now departed. Routine is restored. But the fog rolled in on its little cat feet and parked right over our respective school districts. Unexpectedly we had an extra day off. An unplanned for three-day weekend! What did I spend my day doing, you ask? Why hearing all about "your parents." Our son told me not about grandma and grandpa, but called them "your parents" in some formal way. He told me how my mother (side note, I have never called my mom mother in my life) made him Christmas pancakes for breakfast in the shape of Mickey Mouse-and didn't make him eat a cereal bar. You know, the breakfast he has chose to eat for the past year or so. He told me all about my father (aka dad) and his puzzle making abilities. At one point he said "your parents are the nicest family around. Nicer than our family. Nicer than any family I know. I want to live with them." Sigh. Someone was spoiled.
Not that I begrudge him the weekend of spoiling. I had weekends with my grandmother where I sat on the kitchen counter while she fried up French toast. Weekends where we went shopping and lunched. Sleepovers where we watched Gone With the Wind for the gozillionth time while she rolled her hair. Long phone conversations from my dorm room to her kitchen. I may not have said it the same way my son did, but my dad's mother was lovely. So I get it. Parents are the ones who have to make you eat gross foods, do your homework, pick up your clothes, clean your playroom, sit in time-out, write apology notes to teachers when you have to clip down, make you come in when it gets dark, and turn of that darn TV. "Your parents" are the ones who give you extra dessert, make cookies with you and let you lick the spoon, craft until the glue coats their hands and arms, color all afternoon on construction paper, play mysterious games of football where they don't understand the rules you've created, and indulge your every whim.
I think all three of us needed a weekend of indulgence. My husband and I needed to have one long date. Our son needed some serious grandparent play time. It recharges batteries. We are now officially headed into the three busiest weeks of the year. And I am so ready for them. Thank goodness for my parents, some fog, a whiskey bar, and an excuse to get away.
Yesterday was supposed to be a return to reality-my day back to work and our son's return to school. Grandparents are now departed. Routine is restored. But the fog rolled in on its little cat feet and parked right over our respective school districts. Unexpectedly we had an extra day off. An unplanned for three-day weekend! What did I spend my day doing, you ask? Why hearing all about "your parents." Our son told me not about grandma and grandpa, but called them "your parents" in some formal way. He told me how my mother (side note, I have never called my mom mother in my life) made him Christmas pancakes for breakfast in the shape of Mickey Mouse-and didn't make him eat a cereal bar. You know, the breakfast he has chose to eat for the past year or so. He told me all about my father (aka dad) and his puzzle making abilities. At one point he said "your parents are the nicest family around. Nicer than our family. Nicer than any family I know. I want to live with them." Sigh. Someone was spoiled.
Not that I begrudge him the weekend of spoiling. I had weekends with my grandmother where I sat on the kitchen counter while she fried up French toast. Weekends where we went shopping and lunched. Sleepovers where we watched Gone With the Wind for the gozillionth time while she rolled her hair. Long phone conversations from my dorm room to her kitchen. I may not have said it the same way my son did, but my dad's mother was lovely. So I get it. Parents are the ones who have to make you eat gross foods, do your homework, pick up your clothes, clean your playroom, sit in time-out, write apology notes to teachers when you have to clip down, make you come in when it gets dark, and turn of that darn TV. "Your parents" are the ones who give you extra dessert, make cookies with you and let you lick the spoon, craft until the glue coats their hands and arms, color all afternoon on construction paper, play mysterious games of football where they don't understand the rules you've created, and indulge your every whim.
I think all three of us needed a weekend of indulgence. My husband and I needed to have one long date. Our son needed some serious grandparent play time. It recharges batteries. We are now officially headed into the three busiest weeks of the year. And I am so ready for them. Thank goodness for my parents, some fog, a whiskey bar, and an excuse to get away.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Mmfrgrgggg
Yeah. That is the sound I make in the morning. Something like a growl and a moan and a sigh and sad resignation that I must leave my cozy cocoon of a bed and face the day. (side note: I do not typically make this sound on weekends, holidays, or days when I don't have to work)
This morning the alarm went off at 4:30 am. You read that correctly. 4:30 in the AM. Before the ass crack of dawn. I'm pretty certain it is before the dawn of man. Or something like that. I have to set my first alarm that early or when my second alarm goes off at 5:15 and I start to hit snooze I won't have begun the process of drifting out of the catatonic state I fondly call sleep.
When my alarm went off I had someone snuggled right up next to me. And I mean Right. Next. To. Me. Now, my brain does not fully function thoughts until I have been up and moving (and consumed coffee) for about an hour. So when this someone murmured into my ear "happy 10th anniversary of our first date" I was a little confused. Here I am all "mmmmfrrrgrrrrggggg awake no mmmmmfffrrrggggrrrggg" and he is all sweet and cuddly and loving me.
Needless to say, I failed at the "wish my spouse a happy first date anniversary first" thing this year. I didn't even get it in until over an hour later before I walked out the door. I think I actually fell back asleep after he said it. (I fail at mornings)
But, all that aside, it is the tenth anniversary of our first date. One zero. Ten. 10. In many ways it feels like yesterday and in many, many, many more it seems like a lifetime ago. Last year on this day I wrote a retrospective about our time together. Today I feel fortunate to add another 365 days to our total. Another year of laughter, mornings, travels, dates, dinners at home, holidays, baseball games, moments small and large. From one date, a family has been made. Tonight we will celebrate our little family by going out on another date-all of us. And talk of the ten years yet to come.
I am one lucky lady. Even if I don't acknowledge it at 4:30 in the morning.
This morning the alarm went off at 4:30 am. You read that correctly. 4:30 in the AM. Before the ass crack of dawn. I'm pretty certain it is before the dawn of man. Or something like that. I have to set my first alarm that early or when my second alarm goes off at 5:15 and I start to hit snooze I won't have begun the process of drifting out of the catatonic state I fondly call sleep.
When my alarm went off I had someone snuggled right up next to me. And I mean Right. Next. To. Me. Now, my brain does not fully function thoughts until I have been up and moving (and consumed coffee) for about an hour. So when this someone murmured into my ear "happy 10th anniversary of our first date" I was a little confused. Here I am all "mmmmfrrrgrrrrggggg awake no mmmmmfffrrrggggrrrggg" and he is all sweet and cuddly and loving me.
Needless to say, I failed at the "wish my spouse a happy first date anniversary first" thing this year. I didn't even get it in until over an hour later before I walked out the door. I think I actually fell back asleep after he said it. (I fail at mornings)
But, all that aside, it is the tenth anniversary of our first date. One zero. Ten. 10. In many ways it feels like yesterday and in many, many, many more it seems like a lifetime ago. Last year on this day I wrote a retrospective about our time together. Today I feel fortunate to add another 365 days to our total. Another year of laughter, mornings, travels, dates, dinners at home, holidays, baseball games, moments small and large. From one date, a family has been made. Tonight we will celebrate our little family by going out on another date-all of us. And talk of the ten years yet to come.
I am one lucky lady. Even if I don't acknowledge it at 4:30 in the morning.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
9th
I started the day with my husband on an early morning walk-a new summer tradition for us. As we made the rounds through our tiny two-street neighborhood, we chatted about the impending rain (hooray!), the crazy things our son said the night before, about the upcoming school year and how to work our morning walk into that hectic routine, and talk about the day ahead. Through these walks I am coming to realize I am a morning person, just not a waking up person. And I am loving this time each morning with my husband.
Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. I look around my life and consider myself very fortunate. While I know nine years of marriage isn't many, to some it is. To some we are still newlyweds and to some we are an old married couple. Quite frankly I feel lucky to have found someone who makes me belly laugh every day, makes me feel safe and comforted, makes me feel dead sexy, is a terrific father to our children, is a man that I respect both personally and professionally, and one I love more now than I did when we started this journey together.
There are a few things I've learned these nine years-and as it is our 9th I'll list all nine. (I kid...I have learned more than nine things, but these are some of the most important!)
1. Laugh together. Laugh at anything and everything. Laugh at yourself, each other, and what life throws at you. My husband and I are great laughers. We crack each other up. Many nights, as we are settling into bed I am brought to tears from our conversation-simply from laughter. I believe it is one of the strongest glues in a marriage.
2. Be kind. I cannot tell you how often my husband will stop in his tracks to just wrap his arms around me when I'm having a tough day, week or month. Or when I know he is stressed I will whip up some of his favorite dishes. Kind gestures go a long way in a marriage.
3. Be supportive of one another. This could go right along with kindness, I suppose. But what I mean is that your partner may (will) grow and change throughout the course of your marriage. Be supportive of their new dreams and goals. No one is a bigger cheerleader for me than my husband. It makes me feel like I can do anything.
4. Give good hugs. I believe hugging is the un-sung hero in a marriage, and I may make it my goal to campaign for its recognition. I am married to a world-champion hugger. Seriously ladies, his hugs are the stuff of legends. They have the power to heal just about everything except toothaches and cramps. And even then, you'll feel better. Don't ever, ever stop hugging your partner.
5. Keep dating your partner. I know-in the beginning of any relationship you go on dates. You talk for hours on the phone. You send each other little gifts. Then the years build up and "date night" is usually on the couch with a bowl of shared ice cream (well we don't share our ice cream here, but to each his/her own). We still date each other. We get away for weekends and leave our son with grandparents or aunts/uncles (which he loves). We go out to favorite restuarants for leisurely dinners over a bottle of good wine or yummy cocktails. We spend a summer evening watching a baseball game. There is always time for a couples' massage. No matter how busy your life is, make room for a real, honest-to-goodness date.
6. Have traditions. We have silly traditions, serious traditions, and all the ones in-between. We spend our weekend mornings laying around in bed as much as possible. We have since our marriage began-first with our daughter (who is now married and on her own) sneaking in for conversation before breakfast. Now with our son who climbs in for lovins. We have from-scratch birthday cakes for each birthday. We take a drive in the country every Christmas Eve. We see the Detroit Tigers every summer multiple times. Tuesdays in the summer usually result in a trip to our local custard stand-Mel-O-Creme for half price drink night. These traditions define us in many ways, and make our life together something we can depend on.
7. Don't look for perfection. Before anyone jumps the gun on me here, understand what I'm saying. My husband and I have said one million times (at least) that no perfect marriage exists. It can't. Human beings are involved. Because we are all flawed, our institutions will be. So be patient and understanding as you move down the road into your own partnership and discover the flaws. Embrace them. Work through them. Don't get frustrated simply because they exist. If you are searching for perfection, you'll be looking forever.
8. Enjoy the moments. We are really quite good at enjoying little moments during our time together. Be it dinners on the porch with a good bottle of wine and good food on a weeknight, snuggling in front of a fireplace while watching season 3 of The West Wing for the quazillionth time, holding hands in the car as we run errands on a weekend, sharing a bag of popcorn during one of our school's athletic events, or laughing at our son's silly 5 year-old jokes. These are the moments that make up the fabric of a marriage. Cheesy sentiment, I know. But it is also quite true.
9. Last, but not least-Make plans. We are always plotting something-from the mundane of weekly meals to the big dreams of retirement years. We talk about how we would like to expand the landscaping in our yard. We talk about what we will do with our finances when we pay down our debt. We plan road trips. We plan dinners with family and friends. We are always planning for tomorrow. Nine years ago I never imagined the life I have at this very moment. I have no idea what the next nine years will bring. But that doesn't stop us from planning for our future.
I have said often to my husband that as a young girl I would imagine what the "ideal marriage" was and think that I wouldn't have that. Mostly because the women I knew complained a lot about their spouses-and many couples who have been together for many years spent more time figuring out how to spend less time together than more. Somehow I got lucky and tripped and fell right into what I imagined to be the ideal marriage. Nine years later we are still here and hopefully in nine more years I will have a list of 18 things for you. Happy anniversary honey-I couldn't love anyone more!
Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. I look around my life and consider myself very fortunate. While I know nine years of marriage isn't many, to some it is. To some we are still newlyweds and to some we are an old married couple. Quite frankly I feel lucky to have found someone who makes me belly laugh every day, makes me feel safe and comforted, makes me feel dead sexy, is a terrific father to our children, is a man that I respect both personally and professionally, and one I love more now than I did when we started this journey together.
There are a few things I've learned these nine years-and as it is our 9th I'll list all nine. (I kid...I have learned more than nine things, but these are some of the most important!)
1. Laugh together. Laugh at anything and everything. Laugh at yourself, each other, and what life throws at you. My husband and I are great laughers. We crack each other up. Many nights, as we are settling into bed I am brought to tears from our conversation-simply from laughter. I believe it is one of the strongest glues in a marriage.
2. Be kind. I cannot tell you how often my husband will stop in his tracks to just wrap his arms around me when I'm having a tough day, week or month. Or when I know he is stressed I will whip up some of his favorite dishes. Kind gestures go a long way in a marriage.
3. Be supportive of one another. This could go right along with kindness, I suppose. But what I mean is that your partner may (will) grow and change throughout the course of your marriage. Be supportive of their new dreams and goals. No one is a bigger cheerleader for me than my husband. It makes me feel like I can do anything.
4. Give good hugs. I believe hugging is the un-sung hero in a marriage, and I may make it my goal to campaign for its recognition. I am married to a world-champion hugger. Seriously ladies, his hugs are the stuff of legends. They have the power to heal just about everything except toothaches and cramps. And even then, you'll feel better. Don't ever, ever stop hugging your partner.
5. Keep dating your partner. I know-in the beginning of any relationship you go on dates. You talk for hours on the phone. You send each other little gifts. Then the years build up and "date night" is usually on the couch with a bowl of shared ice cream (well we don't share our ice cream here, but to each his/her own). We still date each other. We get away for weekends and leave our son with grandparents or aunts/uncles (which he loves). We go out to favorite restuarants for leisurely dinners over a bottle of good wine or yummy cocktails. We spend a summer evening watching a baseball game. There is always time for a couples' massage. No matter how busy your life is, make room for a real, honest-to-goodness date.
6. Have traditions. We have silly traditions, serious traditions, and all the ones in-between. We spend our weekend mornings laying around in bed as much as possible. We have since our marriage began-first with our daughter (who is now married and on her own) sneaking in for conversation before breakfast. Now with our son who climbs in for lovins. We have from-scratch birthday cakes for each birthday. We take a drive in the country every Christmas Eve. We see the Detroit Tigers every summer multiple times. Tuesdays in the summer usually result in a trip to our local custard stand-Mel-O-Creme for half price drink night. These traditions define us in many ways, and make our life together something we can depend on.
7. Don't look for perfection. Before anyone jumps the gun on me here, understand what I'm saying. My husband and I have said one million times (at least) that no perfect marriage exists. It can't. Human beings are involved. Because we are all flawed, our institutions will be. So be patient and understanding as you move down the road into your own partnership and discover the flaws. Embrace them. Work through them. Don't get frustrated simply because they exist. If you are searching for perfection, you'll be looking forever.
8. Enjoy the moments. We are really quite good at enjoying little moments during our time together. Be it dinners on the porch with a good bottle of wine and good food on a weeknight, snuggling in front of a fireplace while watching season 3 of The West Wing for the quazillionth time, holding hands in the car as we run errands on a weekend, sharing a bag of popcorn during one of our school's athletic events, or laughing at our son's silly 5 year-old jokes. These are the moments that make up the fabric of a marriage. Cheesy sentiment, I know. But it is also quite true.
9. Last, but not least-Make plans. We are always plotting something-from the mundane of weekly meals to the big dreams of retirement years. We talk about how we would like to expand the landscaping in our yard. We talk about what we will do with our finances when we pay down our debt. We plan road trips. We plan dinners with family and friends. We are always planning for tomorrow. Nine years ago I never imagined the life I have at this very moment. I have no idea what the next nine years will bring. But that doesn't stop us from planning for our future.
I have said often to my husband that as a young girl I would imagine what the "ideal marriage" was and think that I wouldn't have that. Mostly because the women I knew complained a lot about their spouses-and many couples who have been together for many years spent more time figuring out how to spend less time together than more. Somehow I got lucky and tripped and fell right into what I imagined to be the ideal marriage. Nine years later we are still here and hopefully in nine more years I will have a list of 18 things for you. Happy anniversary honey-I couldn't love anyone more!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Neverending Honeymoons
For most of my young adult life and early 20's I had this idea of what marriage was and what an ideal marriage was supposed to be. Two distinct things. Not much in common with the other except that it involved two people, united by the bond of marriage, spending their lives together. At that point the similarities ended and the roads took 90 degree turns from one another.
I believed what marriage was, in my vernacular, was a union of two people who, at one time, loved each other like crazy. But as time wore on they grew and changed. Typically this change did not involve them growing together but apart. I saw couples who had groups of friends that were separate from one another. Couples who spent little time together. Couples who bickered. Couples who could put on good face, but when apart did nothing but complain about their other half. Their marriage had become more of a management proposition and less of a relationship. I saw very little in my world to indicate that marriage was anything but this. It was worrisome.
Yet this did not stop my mind from formulating what I believed marriage ought to be. I don't know when I started to imagine this-sometime in high school I suppose. But there it was, my ideal marriage. It had two nameless, faceless individuals in this relationship. They were romantically in love from the start. But over time, this love became more-it was woven and shot through with the trials they faced, the tough times, the days that were just too much. It also was stitched by their laughter and shared jokes. Patched by common memories, experiences, interests. Made more vibrant by divergent interests they shared with the other. Grew larger with children and friends. This love could mend hurt feelings. It could be a safe harbor in a storm. It could be a warm blanket on a cold night. As the relationship aged, it looked different, but it improved, it grew, stretched, contracted, and accommodated the passage of time. There was no expectation of perfection in this marriage. Just love, comfort, and support.
I never expected to be blessed with such a relationship. I hadn't seen one like it, so how would I even know how to create one? Yet this weekend, after my husband and I were discussing the notion of the honeymoon I realized something-I do have that ideal. We are not perfect. Far from it. But I don't think either of us expect perfection from each other. I am messy. I am neurotic. I am a procrastinator. I love to start and not finish things. I can be one hot mess. But he loves me in spite of my flaws. And not only does he love me, but together we laugh so hard we cry, we still share private jokes when out at events, we hold hands, we sit smushed up against one another on the couch, and weekend mornings are spent lounging in our bed with our son cracking jokes. I am one lucky lady. I don't say it often enough.
My hope is that my stepdaughter and son are lucky enough to have a relationship as full and rich as mine is with their dad. One that isn't just about the happy days, but shows its best side during the rough patches. Not just any marriage, but the ideal marriage. Just like the one I was fortunate to find.
I believed what marriage was, in my vernacular, was a union of two people who, at one time, loved each other like crazy. But as time wore on they grew and changed. Typically this change did not involve them growing together but apart. I saw couples who had groups of friends that were separate from one another. Couples who spent little time together. Couples who bickered. Couples who could put on good face, but when apart did nothing but complain about their other half. Their marriage had become more of a management proposition and less of a relationship. I saw very little in my world to indicate that marriage was anything but this. It was worrisome.
Yet this did not stop my mind from formulating what I believed marriage ought to be. I don't know when I started to imagine this-sometime in high school I suppose. But there it was, my ideal marriage. It had two nameless, faceless individuals in this relationship. They were romantically in love from the start. But over time, this love became more-it was woven and shot through with the trials they faced, the tough times, the days that were just too much. It also was stitched by their laughter and shared jokes. Patched by common memories, experiences, interests. Made more vibrant by divergent interests they shared with the other. Grew larger with children and friends. This love could mend hurt feelings. It could be a safe harbor in a storm. It could be a warm blanket on a cold night. As the relationship aged, it looked different, but it improved, it grew, stretched, contracted, and accommodated the passage of time. There was no expectation of perfection in this marriage. Just love, comfort, and support.
I never expected to be blessed with such a relationship. I hadn't seen one like it, so how would I even know how to create one? Yet this weekend, after my husband and I were discussing the notion of the honeymoon I realized something-I do have that ideal. We are not perfect. Far from it. But I don't think either of us expect perfection from each other. I am messy. I am neurotic. I am a procrastinator. I love to start and not finish things. I can be one hot mess. But he loves me in spite of my flaws. And not only does he love me, but together we laugh so hard we cry, we still share private jokes when out at events, we hold hands, we sit smushed up against one another on the couch, and weekend mornings are spent lounging in our bed with our son cracking jokes. I am one lucky lady. I don't say it often enough.
My hope is that my stepdaughter and son are lucky enough to have a relationship as full and rich as mine is with their dad. One that isn't just about the happy days, but shows its best side during the rough patches. Not just any marriage, but the ideal marriage. Just like the one I was fortunate to find.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
A Musical Confession
So I have a confession to make. One that may make some readers laugh. One that may make some of you roll your eyes at me. One that I've been keeping hidden for quite some time...
I am becoming a huge country music junkie.
Not just a passive listener. Not just a "ooohhh I heard that country song on my Top 40 station and really liked it" listener.
No, I'm talking a buy the albums, listen to the satellite station all the time, watch the videos, know the top 20 countdown songs most weeks, watch the backstory specials on CMT, even go to a few concerts now...junkie.
Go ahead and mock if you must. But here is how this came to be (from a girl who only loved indie musicians and swore Country music was for the birds)...
I was driving to a conference over a year ago and needed a good music mix to listen to. I was scanning the stations on my satellite radio and stumbled across the country station. I stopped for a while and liked what I heard. Listened for the two hour drive. It wasn't the country I knew as a girl growing up in the burbs. It wasn't the twangy country I assumed it might be. It was fun. It reminded me of the beach even.
But what really caused me to fall head over heels in love was the songs about being in love. More specifically the men singing about their beloved. Never in all of my music-going had I heard such simple and perfect expressions of adoration for women. And these songs reminded me of things my husband has said to me. Or ways he has looked at me. Things he has done for me. And all the ways he has made me melt with just a look. Kind of like this...
Sigh...
So yes, I am a full-fledged Country Music lovin gal. Singing at the top of my lungs in the car. But mostly it is because whenever I flip on the radio I am transported right back to my most favorite place in the whole world...wrapped in the arms of my adoring husband.
I am becoming a huge country music junkie.
Not just a passive listener. Not just a "ooohhh I heard that country song on my Top 40 station and really liked it" listener.
No, I'm talking a buy the albums, listen to the satellite station all the time, watch the videos, know the top 20 countdown songs most weeks, watch the backstory specials on CMT, even go to a few concerts now...junkie.
Go ahead and mock if you must. But here is how this came to be (from a girl who only loved indie musicians and swore Country music was for the birds)...
I was driving to a conference over a year ago and needed a good music mix to listen to. I was scanning the stations on my satellite radio and stumbled across the country station. I stopped for a while and liked what I heard. Listened for the two hour drive. It wasn't the country I knew as a girl growing up in the burbs. It wasn't the twangy country I assumed it might be. It was fun. It reminded me of the beach even.
But what really caused me to fall head over heels in love was the songs about being in love. More specifically the men singing about their beloved. Never in all of my music-going had I heard such simple and perfect expressions of adoration for women. And these songs reminded me of things my husband has said to me. Or ways he has looked at me. Things he has done for me. And all the ways he has made me melt with just a look. Kind of like this...
Sigh...
So yes, I am a full-fledged Country Music lovin gal. Singing at the top of my lungs in the car. But mostly it is because whenever I flip on the radio I am transported right back to my most favorite place in the whole world...wrapped in the arms of my adoring husband.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
3285
3285 days ago I went on a date.
It was a date that changed my entire life.
In the 3285 days to follow this has happened...
We got married on the most perfect Ohio July day ever to exist. Seriously, 75 degrees in July. Look it up, I am pretty certain it has only happened once.
I became a stepmom. Or as she so affectionately calls me...a steppenmommy. It is pretty awesome.
I graduated from graduate school, we made a baby, built a house, and my steppendaughter graduated from high school. All in the same year. (oh, and my husband and I both started new jobs that year too...because we are anything if not underachievers!)
Steppendaughter went off to college and baby boy started sitting upright.
Steppendaughter graduated from college.
My baby sister graduated from high school.
We grew a garden that is pretty and pretty awesome.
I got orange curtains in our master bedroom. This is monumental in my life
Our boy got a "big house." Not to be confused with jail.
Our boy started pre-school. Like, on the bus and all day and stuff.
We had us another wedding. It was beautiful and perfect like the first. Only in the winter on a sunny and snowy day. Thanks Ohio for being awesome.
Holy heck...has it been nine years? Nine years of building a little family. Building a life together that has taken us 3285 days to get to this very place where I sit writing you on this blog. Nine years ago I fell head over heels in love with a man who I adore still. The man I knew would be a great dad, because he already was one. The man who gives the best hugs, who is the anchor to my wildly adrift ship, who cooks me the best comfort foods on my worst days. He is the love of my life. Happy first date anniversary sweetie...I couldn't love you more!
It was a date that changed my entire life.
In the 3285 days to follow this has happened...
We got married on the most perfect Ohio July day ever to exist. Seriously, 75 degrees in July. Look it up, I am pretty certain it has only happened once.
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| Those were awesome. Even if one of the dark ones were crushed into my dress. |
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| We only did this to her once. And she was only minorly scarred. Scout's honor. |
I graduated from graduate school, we made a baby, built a house, and my steppendaughter graduated from high school. All in the same year. (oh, and my husband and I both started new jobs that year too...because we are anything if not underachievers!)
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| Baby boy...bad photo, but when you're 5 seconds post-birth, cell phone is the best you can do! |
Steppendaughter went off to college and baby boy started sitting upright.
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| Did I mention he was part turtle too? |
Steppendaughter graduated from college.
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| Baby boy did NOT want to have his photo taken. Notice new family member...he will make a reappearance... |
My baby sister graduated from high school.
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| He's still camera adverse. And I won't crop out baby sister's boyfriend. Because I'm mean like that. |
We grew a garden that is pretty and pretty awesome.
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| This is the garden in baby stage, year one. Now it has lovely lavender, sweet pea vines, and loads of veggies! |
I got orange curtains in our master bedroom. This is monumental in my life
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| Not only are they orange and awesome, but my husband picked them out. Beat. That. |
Our boy got a "big house." Not to be confused with jail.
 |
| His 'big' house |
Our boy started pre-school. Like, on the bus and all day and stuff.
 |
| Yes, I did cry. Because he is so big! |
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| My little family grew again! |
Holy heck...has it been nine years? Nine years of building a little family. Building a life together that has taken us 3285 days to get to this very place where I sit writing you on this blog. Nine years ago I fell head over heels in love with a man who I adore still. The man I knew would be a great dad, because he already was one. The man who gives the best hugs, who is the anchor to my wildly adrift ship, who cooks me the best comfort foods on my worst days. He is the love of my life. Happy first date anniversary sweetie...I couldn't love you more!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Once upon a Chianti
Many years ago there was a boy and a girl who fell madly in love. They quickly knew they wanted to get married and began to plan their wedding in the girl's hometown. As they picked flowers, hors d'oeuvres, cocktails, wrote vows, and drew up seating charts the need for a rehearsal dinner site arose. They were particular about the place-it needed to have delicious food that rendered you speechless, it needed to have a wine list that was sophisticated yet approachable, it needed to have an atmosphere that was welcoming but sophisticated, and it needed to be locally owned. The boy and girl talked to friends and family and finally made dinner reservations at a small Italian restaurant quite near their wedding site. The initial dinner was perfection. A foodie's delight. Wine list that went on and on. They had found everything they were looking for and more. By the time they'd left, a rehearsal dinner had been booked, and new friends had been made.
That summer this boy and girl (more like man and woman) became husband and wife. It was as perfect a July day as anyone can order up in Ohio. 75 degrees, sunny, not a cloud in the sky, and no humidity. The day passed in a blur with well-wishes from family and friends. Before the newlyweds knew it, the celebrations came to an end and they were off under a beautiful summer night sky. But they were starving. Where to go? The groom suggested stopping off at the restaurant from their rehearsal dinner for a quick bite. His bride giggled-"in these clothes?" pointing to her voluminous ball gown and his tuxedo. "Why not?" And before long they were pulling into the parking lot. Tapping on the window of a restaurant that was closing up for the night, they were not certain of finding any food for their rumbling tummies. Yet the owner graciously unlocked the door and helped the groom put his bride on the bar stool. Of course they would be fed, and what a feast! The owner's mother had brought by some homemade Italian Wedding Cake for the staff that afternoon, and slices were brought out, along with several other delicious menu items to nibble on and bottles of wine. They all sat at the bar, laughing, chatting, eating, and making merry. When the bride and groom finally left, it was with two bottles of wine, a corkscrew and two wineglasses in hand. And memories to last them a lifetime.
Yes, Vaccaro's Trattoria was the perfect place to have our rehearsal dinner, but it was more than that. My husband and I will always love Raphael for his kindness and generous spirit he showed on the evening of our wedding, and each time we have returned to celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, even the pregnancy with our son. Returning to Vaccaro's is like coming home for us. We wish we lived closer than the two-hour drive so we could enjoy dinners there more often. It is all that we love in a restaurant-family owned, local, filled with tradition, and curated with love. We so look forward to the day when we can take our son there for his first dinner experience-once we break him of his chicken & fries only habit, that is!
That summer this boy and girl (more like man and woman) became husband and wife. It was as perfect a July day as anyone can order up in Ohio. 75 degrees, sunny, not a cloud in the sky, and no humidity. The day passed in a blur with well-wishes from family and friends. Before the newlyweds knew it, the celebrations came to an end and they were off under a beautiful summer night sky. But they were starving. Where to go? The groom suggested stopping off at the restaurant from their rehearsal dinner for a quick bite. His bride giggled-"in these clothes?" pointing to her voluminous ball gown and his tuxedo. "Why not?" And before long they were pulling into the parking lot. Tapping on the window of a restaurant that was closing up for the night, they were not certain of finding any food for their rumbling tummies. Yet the owner graciously unlocked the door and helped the groom put his bride on the bar stool. Of course they would be fed, and what a feast! The owner's mother had brought by some homemade Italian Wedding Cake for the staff that afternoon, and slices were brought out, along with several other delicious menu items to nibble on and bottles of wine. They all sat at the bar, laughing, chatting, eating, and making merry. When the bride and groom finally left, it was with two bottles of wine, a corkscrew and two wineglasses in hand. And memories to last them a lifetime.
Yes, Vaccaro's Trattoria was the perfect place to have our rehearsal dinner, but it was more than that. My husband and I will always love Raphael for his kindness and generous spirit he showed on the evening of our wedding, and each time we have returned to celebrate anniversaries, birthdays, even the pregnancy with our son. Returning to Vaccaro's is like coming home for us. We wish we lived closer than the two-hour drive so we could enjoy dinners there more often. It is all that we love in a restaurant-family owned, local, filled with tradition, and curated with love. We so look forward to the day when we can take our son there for his first dinner experience-once we break him of his chicken & fries only habit, that is!
This past weekend I was treated to another spectacular dinner at Vaccaro's Trattoria as a birthday gift by my husband. Impeccable as always. Readers, if you are in Akron, Ohio or near Akron I cannot urge you enough to make reservations and spend your evening leisurely dining there. We had another feast to remember...stuffed hot banana peppers brought out with bubbling hot cheese, a Belgian Endive & Baby Spinach salad with a goat cheese that left me nearly licking the plate in the most unlady-like fashion, Short Rib Osso Bucco made for a chilly autumn night, a perfectly crispy-chewy pizza topped with veal bolognese sauce and meatballs that will spoil you forever on take-out, all supplemented with a Super-Tuscan wine right up my "I want a red wine that is spicy and will smack-you-in-the-face bold" alley. Dessert was equally as delicious-my butterscotch molten cake and my husband's chocolate cheesecake. Oh, was it all ever delicious. I think we are still full from Saturday evening's feast! Raphael and crew, you outdid yourselves again. Thank you so much, from a bride and groom many years ago who came to you seeking sustenance and found so much more.
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| A Groom and his very hungry Bride |
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Of rings and things
So on our vacation to Western North Carolina, we celebrated eight blissful years of marriage! (applause, cheers, throwing of flowers) Thank you, thank you. To celebrate my stepdaughter and stepson-in-law (I just love writing that out, it is fun) watched our boy Jack for us so my husband and I could see a rare movie. In a theatre. On the big screen. Together. Give me a moment.
Sigh.
Okay, I'm back. It's just that we don't see many movies as a couple, or at all for that matter. So this was particularly enjoyable. We don't get out much, I guess! After laughing heartily at Bad Teacher (a good laugh-fest for an educator, definitely NOT a documentary:) we set out for Biltmore Village in Asheville. We hadn't spent much time in Biltmore Village on our first trip, and I wanted to poke my nose into some local shops and enjoy shopping without threatening time-outs and "you are getting on my very last nerve" statements. Oh, and without fear that our bull in a china shop child was going to wreck something. This is how we stumbled across Blue. From several shops away I spied these giant glass globes suspended in the trees and gasped "we have to go there." Dragging my spouse along, over brick sidewalks, I found the source of these magical orbs. Blue is a small local art gallery/goldsmith/jeweler/jewelery designer that will knock your socks off. I found myself walking around the shop with my breath half-held in, whispering things to myself as I took in each small piece of art. Then I found the rings. Oh momma, was I in trouble. Here's why...
At first glance, this yellow sapphire and diamond ring looked orange. And I'm a sucker for all things orange. So I tried it on. Then the salesgirl told me to take it outside and look at it in the sunlight. I gave her a look like she must be out of her gourd. Take this, expensive, beautiful, exquisite ring outside. Away from her eyes? "Yes" was her assurance. So I did as she instructed, and was she ever right. The rich orange of the indoors gave way to a glittering golden yellow that instantly reminded me of a pair of topaz earrings my grandmother used to have. I didn't want to take this ring off my finger. It was that perfect. But sadly, we did not set out that day to purchase expensive jewelry, and I parted ways with the piece. I still cannot get it out of my head. But, life is all about choices, and the time was not right. Someday though, I fully intend to return to Blue and have Susan West design and construct a ring that will suck the air right out of my lungs, exactly as that ring did. I love everything about her shop-from their use of 100% recycled gold, conflict-free diamonds, and that the designer is right there to talk to. Blue is my kind of jewelry store-one of a kind. I encourage you to look it up, and if you are ever in the Asheville, NC area to head over and check it out. Just be prepared to fall madly in love with at least one piece of jewelry. Then have some sort of coping skills.
Mine was in the form of the three-layer coconut cake I devoured after our romantic dinner later that evening. Cake helps everything!
Sigh.
Okay, I'm back. It's just that we don't see many movies as a couple, or at all for that matter. So this was particularly enjoyable. We don't get out much, I guess! After laughing heartily at Bad Teacher (a good laugh-fest for an educator, definitely NOT a documentary:) we set out for Biltmore Village in Asheville. We hadn't spent much time in Biltmore Village on our first trip, and I wanted to poke my nose into some local shops and enjoy shopping without threatening time-outs and "you are getting on my very last nerve" statements. Oh, and without fear that our bull in a china shop child was going to wreck something. This is how we stumbled across Blue. From several shops away I spied these giant glass globes suspended in the trees and gasped "we have to go there." Dragging my spouse along, over brick sidewalks, I found the source of these magical orbs. Blue is a small local art gallery/goldsmith/jeweler/jewelery designer that will knock your socks off. I found myself walking around the shop with my breath half-held in, whispering things to myself as I took in each small piece of art. Then I found the rings. Oh momma, was I in trouble. Here's why...
At first glance, this yellow sapphire and diamond ring looked orange. And I'm a sucker for all things orange. So I tried it on. Then the salesgirl told me to take it outside and look at it in the sunlight. I gave her a look like she must be out of her gourd. Take this, expensive, beautiful, exquisite ring outside. Away from her eyes? "Yes" was her assurance. So I did as she instructed, and was she ever right. The rich orange of the indoors gave way to a glittering golden yellow that instantly reminded me of a pair of topaz earrings my grandmother used to have. I didn't want to take this ring off my finger. It was that perfect. But sadly, we did not set out that day to purchase expensive jewelry, and I parted ways with the piece. I still cannot get it out of my head. But, life is all about choices, and the time was not right. Someday though, I fully intend to return to Blue and have Susan West design and construct a ring that will suck the air right out of my lungs, exactly as that ring did. I love everything about her shop-from their use of 100% recycled gold, conflict-free diamonds, and that the designer is right there to talk to. Blue is my kind of jewelry store-one of a kind. I encourage you to look it up, and if you are ever in the Asheville, NC area to head over and check it out. Just be prepared to fall madly in love with at least one piece of jewelry. Then have some sort of coping skills.
Mine was in the form of the three-layer coconut cake I devoured after our romantic dinner later that evening. Cake helps everything!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Father's Weekend
This weekend we are celebrating all things dad around here...as are many of you, I'm assuming. For our family, that means strawberry shortcake for one (it's the husband's favorite spring/summertime dessert) and a cookout with the family for another. We lucked out with our CSA and are getting our chicken share for pick-up tomorrow morning. Add in a stop at the berry farm, a bag of charcoal, homemade marshmallows for smores, and family and you have the perfect gathering for the dads in our life! On Sunday we will take a short road trip to Lakeside, Ohio to visit with my dad and family at a spot that has so many memories for us. Enjoy some shuffleboard, mini golf, swimming, ice cream, and Lake Erie fun. So, how do you celebrate the wonderful fathers (and father-figures) in your life? Here's wishing all of you out there who get up each morning and parent your little men and ladies a wonderful Fathers Day Weekend!
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| My two Tigers. Happy Father's Day! |
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Me & My Hamster Wheel
Every woman (well practically every woman) gets PMS. This sucks. I was about two periods into this sucky game when I asked my grandma why periods can't be like pee. You feel like you have to go, and you head to the bathroom, go and poof! Done. She rolled her eyes at me and told me not to say things that made me sound like I was full of shit.
The thing is, I think most women would totally be on board with that concept. I mean, we spend most of our childbearing years trying to figure out ways to make them bearable. There are birth control pills designed to eliminate the period, shorten their length, to lessen the effect of PMS, to reign in the wild beast within. There are products on the market to squelch the flow (so to speak) that breaks loose on a somewhat regular basis. Some women go as natural as possible. Some want every chemical product known to (wo)man during that time. Most of us fall somewhere in between. We all pretty much know it sucks. From that first sign-be it a twinge-y headache, backache, bloat, bitchy feeling, cramps, or all of the aforementioned, we try to get rid of it. So if there was a way to make it like pee, where it came out in one fell swoop we would all jump on that bandwagon, I'm certain!
My week of PMS consists of an anxiety-filled hamster wheel. My poor husband is usually the first to recognize it. Truly, he deserves kudos for this. As I get older, it gets worse. I can't sleep. I worry myself silly. Usually obsessing over one tiny thing. Then I start my period and am totally fine again. The anxiety is all-consuming, cannot focus on anything else, hart-racing, chest-burning, hand-shaking, terrifying monster in the room thing. And once I start I'm like that stupid hamster running. He will point out that it has been about 3-4 weeks since the last time I felt this way. Much like a priest pointing out it has been a month since my last confession. I let my shoulders relax in relief, and realize this will pass in a few days. But seriously, I need to get a grip on myself. I need to either find a cure or hit menopause because this damn hamster wheel has got. To. Go.
The thing is, I think most women would totally be on board with that concept. I mean, we spend most of our childbearing years trying to figure out ways to make them bearable. There are birth control pills designed to eliminate the period, shorten their length, to lessen the effect of PMS, to reign in the wild beast within. There are products on the market to squelch the flow (so to speak) that breaks loose on a somewhat regular basis. Some women go as natural as possible. Some want every chemical product known to (wo)man during that time. Most of us fall somewhere in between. We all pretty much know it sucks. From that first sign-be it a twinge-y headache, backache, bloat, bitchy feeling, cramps, or all of the aforementioned, we try to get rid of it. So if there was a way to make it like pee, where it came out in one fell swoop we would all jump on that bandwagon, I'm certain!
My week of PMS consists of an anxiety-filled hamster wheel. My poor husband is usually the first to recognize it. Truly, he deserves kudos for this. As I get older, it gets worse. I can't sleep. I worry myself silly. Usually obsessing over one tiny thing. Then I start my period and am totally fine again. The anxiety is all-consuming, cannot focus on anything else, hart-racing, chest-burning, hand-shaking, terrifying monster in the room thing. And once I start I'm like that stupid hamster running. He will point out that it has been about 3-4 weeks since the last time I felt this way. Much like a priest pointing out it has been a month since my last confession. I let my shoulders relax in relief, and realize this will pass in a few days. But seriously, I need to get a grip on myself. I need to either find a cure or hit menopause because this damn hamster wheel has got. To. Go.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The wisdom of previous generations
Dear readers, this was too good to keep to myself...
Last night my husband was aggravating me. Well, me and our son before he went to bed. I made the point that he aggravates people as though it is his hobby. He finds out what irritates someone the most, stores it away in his steel trap of a brain; will be able to summon said knowledge at the drop of a hat and, BAM! You are ready to slay him. Except you're usually laughing too hard to do anything about it. He is a student of human nature, much to our great displeasure sometimes. It is what I love most about him, and what alternately makes me the most crazy.
This came up because a few weeks ago, a friend of mine who happens to work with my husband let slip something that I know will be used against her for as long as they work together. I told her to never let it happen again, unless she wants to be mercilessly teased and harassed all the live long day. She and I had a good laugh over this. It is like being around that big brother who is a giant pest when my husband gets into one of these moods.
So, back to last night...as my husband and I were laughing, teasing, and jokingly arguing I began to walk into the bathroom. He called after me words that I will never forget...
"My dad once told me I could aggravate the balls off of a pool table."
I think my reaction was to fall to the floor as I howled with laughter while hoping I didn't pee everywhere.
Aggravate the balls off a pool table?! Who says that? And why haven't I heard it before?
My father-in-law is truly a master of words, but this one is now my all-time favorite. And no description fits my husband better.
We need a pool table.
Last night my husband was aggravating me. Well, me and our son before he went to bed. I made the point that he aggravates people as though it is his hobby. He finds out what irritates someone the most, stores it away in his steel trap of a brain; will be able to summon said knowledge at the drop of a hat and, BAM! You are ready to slay him. Except you're usually laughing too hard to do anything about it. He is a student of human nature, much to our great displeasure sometimes. It is what I love most about him, and what alternately makes me the most crazy.
This came up because a few weeks ago, a friend of mine who happens to work with my husband let slip something that I know will be used against her for as long as they work together. I told her to never let it happen again, unless she wants to be mercilessly teased and harassed all the live long day. She and I had a good laugh over this. It is like being around that big brother who is a giant pest when my husband gets into one of these moods.
So, back to last night...as my husband and I were laughing, teasing, and jokingly arguing I began to walk into the bathroom. He called after me words that I will never forget...
"My dad once told me I could aggravate the balls off of a pool table."
I think my reaction was to fall to the floor as I howled with laughter while hoping I didn't pee everywhere.
Aggravate the balls off a pool table?! Who says that? And why haven't I heard it before?
My father-in-law is truly a master of words, but this one is now my all-time favorite. And no description fits my husband better.
We need a pool table.
Friday, March 25, 2011
My anchor
I'm a lucky girl. I have a beautiful home, a family that I adore, a job that I worked hard to get and fulfills me, and friends who make me laugh every day. Yet, I was recently reminded just how important it is to have an anchor in our lives. That single person who, no matter what, you lean on after your worst day, you laugh with when life descends into chaos, who calms your stormy seas. My husband is that person to me. I know I don't give him nearly enough credit, because he does have to put up with all of my craziness, but truly there are days when I don't know what I would do without him in my life. I was thinking about this today as I drove into work, watching the sun rise over the March fields, listening to the Lady Antebellum song "I Run to You." If you haven't ever heard it, take a listen. Who is your person? Who holds your world together when everything else feels that it is coming apart? Give them a shout out on this Friday, then let them know how much you love them today.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Feeling Awkward
This weekend, my husband is away...spending some time with his daughter & her husband in Virginia while I hold down the fort here. Whenever one of us isn't around, something just isn't right. I don't know if it is because I'm nuts, or if this makes sense to anyone else. He left early Saturday morning, and ever since then I just feel out of sorts. Kind of like the hamster wheel in my brain lost its hamster.
Blah.
This goes against every feminist, individualistic, badass ideal I've espoused my entire life. I'm a strong human being, for crying in a bucket! Yet, here I am, feeling all mopey. It is crazy. I know if he manages to read this today, he will crack up at my craziness. Because today, I'm a non-functioning nut.
Here is what I've managed to accomplish today in his absence...
Shower (major accomplishment...whew!)
Feed Jack cereal
Strip bed linens and get them into washer (not dryer yet)
Search for a vacation rental for spring break
Mostly I'm wandering our little house like a marble in a shoe box. This is pathetic. I will promptly get up off my rear end, fold Jack's laundry (don't laugh, I really, really mean it...I will fold and put it away), then clean out the freezer like I said I would on Friday.
After I watch this You Tube video. And eat some chips.
Oooff...this is going to be a long day.
Honey, if you're reading this, come home to us...
Blah.
This goes against every feminist, individualistic, badass ideal I've espoused my entire life. I'm a strong human being, for crying in a bucket! Yet, here I am, feeling all mopey. It is crazy. I know if he manages to read this today, he will crack up at my craziness. Because today, I'm a non-functioning nut.
Here is what I've managed to accomplish today in his absence...
Shower (major accomplishment...whew!)
Feed Jack cereal
Strip bed linens and get them into washer (not dryer yet)
Search for a vacation rental for spring break
Mostly I'm wandering our little house like a marble in a shoe box. This is pathetic. I will promptly get up off my rear end, fold Jack's laundry (don't laugh, I really, really mean it...I will fold and put it away), then clean out the freezer like I said I would on Friday.
After I watch this You Tube video. And eat some chips.
Oooff...this is going to be a long day.
Honey, if you're reading this, come home to us...
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| Sad Jack |
Friday, February 4, 2011
Pardon me while I gush
My entire little family is sick in some way, shape or form. We're sniffling, sneezing, fevering, coughing, wheezing, and generally not well. This happens to us about three times each school year. When it does the house becomes a disaster area because my husband and I just don't have the energy to clean, and our (almost four year-old) son can't. We look like zombies when we're home from work in the evening. And life feels like it is falling apart at the seams.
I know it will get better soon. I know that soon I'll emerge on the other side of this croupy sickness and begin to pick up the pieces of my house and feel better about life. But right now I just want to crawl into a cave and pull a quilt over my head.
Ugh.
Last night, as we were eating our take-out dinner (because no one wanted to even heat up dinner), my husband leaned over to me and told me I was the best wife ever. I promptly melted into a puddle onto the messy floor. We've been so wrapped up in our individual sicknesses, and our son's sickness, that we have forgotten about each other. I didn't realize just how much I needed those words until they escaped from his mouth.
Sometime today, take a moment to tell whoever is important in your life, just how special they are-be it your parents, your spouse, your children, your partner, your siblings, your friends. You don't know how low their reserves might be, and this may be just what they need today.
I know it has righted my ship some already.
Thanks dearest.
I know it will get better soon. I know that soon I'll emerge on the other side of this croupy sickness and begin to pick up the pieces of my house and feel better about life. But right now I just want to crawl into a cave and pull a quilt over my head.
Ugh.
Last night, as we were eating our take-out dinner (because no one wanted to even heat up dinner), my husband leaned over to me and told me I was the best wife ever. I promptly melted into a puddle onto the messy floor. We've been so wrapped up in our individual sicknesses, and our son's sickness, that we have forgotten about each other. I didn't realize just how much I needed those words until they escaped from his mouth.
Sometime today, take a moment to tell whoever is important in your life, just how special they are-be it your parents, your spouse, your children, your partner, your siblings, your friends. You don't know how low their reserves might be, and this may be just what they need today.
I know it has righted my ship some already.
Thanks dearest.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sick Day
Oh to be home with a sick boy when you are perfectly aware that you are drowning at work, the voicemail light in your office is blinking angrily at you, your inbox is flooding your living room and getting ready to take over your kitchen too, and you left your paperwork in your office.
Did I mention the weather forecast is for 12 + inches of snow, high winds, and possibly heavy ice?
Can I get a mulligan?
So here I sit. At my computer all morning. Sifting through emails from parents (who are wondering why they haven't heard from their child's school counselor in oh, like, four days...I was in classes all last week!!), trying to fix applications for our career center without access to a printer at home, coordinate a school survey with the knowledge that this massive snowstorm may be hitting us, calling the doctor's office and pharmacy, and administering medicine to a sick little boy. He's sitting on my lap. Heating me through. It's like wearing an electric blanket that weighs about 40 pounds.
In the spirit of my sedentary day, I thought I'd give y'all some fun reading for the day. You know, since my Mac is my lifeline for now, and may very well be for a while. (unless we lose power, Internet connection, and cell phone use...then I just might die)
My favorite HBO show, Big Love is back for its final season, and last night's episode was a heart-wrenching twist on the family Christmas. New York Magazine's The Vulture has a great recap of this sad, touching, and dramatic account of this family. I can't help but root for the Hendricksons...they're hopelessly flawed like all of us. Even though I hope I'm not that flawed!
Sitting with a sick child overtaking your lapspace, the best way to get your reading in can be on your smart phone (an IPhone in my case). So as I was reading HuffPost today, I found this fantastic article about Mommy Bloggers by Kari Henley: Mommy Bloggers Are Going to Rule the World. It was a fascinating read, and spot-on. I can't help but agree with her, as I adore all of my daily reads from the blogosphere. I have two main bookmark categories on my computer and IPhone-news/weather and blogs. They're my lifeline.
Speaking of blogs, a badass woman I have known since high school has started her own. Check out Wise Woman Fertility for information on alternative medicine, and women's health issues. It is a wonderful blog for anyone who is interested in thoughts/ideas beyond the medicine they give you at Rite Aid...which I know many of us are.
Now, I know many of us ladies are married to men who are hot. (raises hand) In my case, mine is not just good looking but also warm. We finally invested in a vehicle that has dual thermostat controls so I can keep my toes toasty warm while he gets cool air blowing on his warm cheeks. In search for an answer of a problem he keeps telling me is in my head, I may have found one...because Amanda Schaffer wonders why women feel colder than men too.
Finally, in honor of the snowstorm approaching us, I thought I'd leave y'all with a little video of the great Blizzard of '78. It could always be worse...remember that.
We could have to drive those cars...
Did I mention the weather forecast is for 12 + inches of snow, high winds, and possibly heavy ice?
Can I get a mulligan?
So here I sit. At my computer all morning. Sifting through emails from parents (who are wondering why they haven't heard from their child's school counselor in oh, like, four days...I was in classes all last week!!), trying to fix applications for our career center without access to a printer at home, coordinate a school survey with the knowledge that this massive snowstorm may be hitting us, calling the doctor's office and pharmacy, and administering medicine to a sick little boy. He's sitting on my lap. Heating me through. It's like wearing an electric blanket that weighs about 40 pounds.
In the spirit of my sedentary day, I thought I'd give y'all some fun reading for the day. You know, since my Mac is my lifeline for now, and may very well be for a while. (unless we lose power, Internet connection, and cell phone use...then I just might die)
My favorite HBO show, Big Love is back for its final season, and last night's episode was a heart-wrenching twist on the family Christmas. New York Magazine's The Vulture has a great recap of this sad, touching, and dramatic account of this family. I can't help but root for the Hendricksons...they're hopelessly flawed like all of us. Even though I hope I'm not that flawed!
Sitting with a sick child overtaking your lapspace, the best way to get your reading in can be on your smart phone (an IPhone in my case). So as I was reading HuffPost today, I found this fantastic article about Mommy Bloggers by Kari Henley: Mommy Bloggers Are Going to Rule the World. It was a fascinating read, and spot-on. I can't help but agree with her, as I adore all of my daily reads from the blogosphere. I have two main bookmark categories on my computer and IPhone-news/weather and blogs. They're my lifeline.
Speaking of blogs, a badass woman I have known since high school has started her own. Check out Wise Woman Fertility for information on alternative medicine, and women's health issues. It is a wonderful blog for anyone who is interested in thoughts/ideas beyond the medicine they give you at Rite Aid...which I know many of us are.
Now, I know many of us ladies are married to men who are hot. (raises hand) In my case, mine is not just good looking but also warm. We finally invested in a vehicle that has dual thermostat controls so I can keep my toes toasty warm while he gets cool air blowing on his warm cheeks. In search for an answer of a problem he keeps telling me is in my head, I may have found one...because Amanda Schaffer wonders why women feel colder than men too.
Finally, in honor of the snowstorm approaching us, I thought I'd leave y'all with a little video of the great Blizzard of '78. It could always be worse...remember that.
We could have to drive those cars...
Monday, January 24, 2011
New Digs
Okay, not really new in that sense of the word. However, since we moved into our house four years ago August, my husband has been finishing our basement, and the project is nearing completion this year (hooray!). It will have our son's playroom, a living space (complete with a beautiful fireplace), a swanky bar for parties, a men's restroom (just picture what that entails), some new storage for us, and a great pantry/seed starting room for my gardening adventures. Right now we are at the point where the drywall is done, painting is complete, lighting is mostly hung, the tile work around the fireplace is now grouted, and my husband is installing the flooring. It looks spectacular.
So, I am beginning to think about the living room upstairs. I know, right? We are in the midst of a complete decorating project downstairs and here I am thinking about another room entirely! But let me explain...the vast majority of the furniture, area rug, etc from our living room will be migrating to our basement within the year. We did purchase two love seats for the basement specifically, and they're residing in our living room. We adore them. They're like settling down into a buttery-soft catcher's mitt. But once we take everything down, we will be left with only an over sized sage-green chair and its ottoman. And a floor lamp. That does not a living space make. Yesterday I found this on Crate & Barrel's website:
I have developed an obsession now. It is rather different in pattern from what we have put in our home up to this point. The colors are stunning...deep cream base with chocolate, blue, teal, and purple. I adore it. And it comes in a size large enough for the space, which strangely seems difficult to find. So now I will obsess. I know it costs an arm and a leg, but my rationalization is that wool rugs last forever (we have one now that will migrate to the basement), and I am all about pieces that stick around. The colors give me room to play with decor as well. What do you guys think? Anyone? Bueller?
And to answer the inevitable questions...yes, I've already started planning out sectional ideas, room arrangements, throw pillows, even window treatments. I need help. My mind operates about six months ahead.
But look at that rug. Stunning. Me toes want to be barefoot on it.
So, I am beginning to think about the living room upstairs. I know, right? We are in the midst of a complete decorating project downstairs and here I am thinking about another room entirely! But let me explain...the vast majority of the furniture, area rug, etc from our living room will be migrating to our basement within the year. We did purchase two love seats for the basement specifically, and they're residing in our living room. We adore them. They're like settling down into a buttery-soft catcher's mitt. But once we take everything down, we will be left with only an over sized sage-green chair and its ottoman. And a floor lamp. That does not a living space make. Yesterday I found this on Crate & Barrel's website:
 |
| Cyrille Wool Rug |
And to answer the inevitable questions...yes, I've already started planning out sectional ideas, room arrangements, throw pillows, even window treatments. I need help. My mind operates about six months ahead.
But look at that rug. Stunning. Me toes want to be barefoot on it.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Mischief
As I type this, my darling husband G and brother-in-law are downstairs in our basement painting the drywall on our finishing project. Now, this also involves many cackles floating upstairs. Whenever one of G's brothers is here assisting him in the construction of our project I am certain that mischief will follow suit. Having grown up in a house of brothers, I know what that involves...
Smelly exchanges
Dirty Jokes
General Foulness
They're boys. Yeah, I know...they're grown-up. But at heart, they are boys who haven't gotten past the pranks they used to pull when they were in elementary school. It's one of the things I love most about my husband, his brothers, and my own siblings. Just don't tell them.
And, it is one of the reasons I wept with joy on the day my baby sister was born. Cause sometimes you can't take anymore of the stink.
 |
| My mischief making baby sister |
Friday, January 14, 2011
14 Happy Things
Reading my blogs this morning (it's my version of reading the papers) I read chookooloonks list #12 of 8 happy things. In honor of her awesome way to start the day, I decided to do my own...and to make it 14 because today is the 14th of January. We are practically halfway through the first month of this year!
1. Waking up each morning next to the best husband I could have asked for. Seriously, he is the greatest.
2. Keeping solid on my resolution (now going on its 3rd year) to live in the now. Enjoying sipping coffee on a snowy morning.
3. Jack's laughter. Nuff said.
4. The beautiful basement G has built for us. Drywall done, on to paint!
5. My office at school-it has these large, beautiful windows that look out into our little town. Today it is snowing big, fat flakes of snow. Bliss.
6. Lunch with work friends.
7. Finding a new evening purse on Etsy. My stepdaughter's wedding is in one month, and I now have the most fabulous black silk bag for it. Who doesn't love some pretty?
8. Seed catalogues.
9. Hipstamatic updates with new free film/flash combos. I could go on for hours about this app on my iPhone and how happy it makes me, but I won't. But to get a free flash and film this morning? Hooray!!
10. Grapefruit sorbet from Jeni's Ice Cream's. I ate my entire pint the other day, and died a little. It's over for the season, so I may have to move on to Corn Syrup Custard with Whiskey and Pecans to fill the void.
11. My husband's version of the Up North cocktail from our favorite Detroit restaurant. It is deadly.
12. Scarves. I love wearing them in their many soft and lovely forms this time of year.
13. My favorite coffee mug that I can fit my entire hand into.
1. Waking up each morning next to the best husband I could have asked for. Seriously, he is the greatest.
2. Keeping solid on my resolution (now going on its 3rd year) to live in the now. Enjoying sipping coffee on a snowy morning.
3. Jack's laughter. Nuff said.
4. The beautiful basement G has built for us. Drywall done, on to paint!
5. My office at school-it has these large, beautiful windows that look out into our little town. Today it is snowing big, fat flakes of snow. Bliss.
6. Lunch with work friends.
7. Finding a new evening purse on Etsy. My stepdaughter's wedding is in one month, and I now have the most fabulous black silk bag for it. Who doesn't love some pretty?
8. Seed catalogues.
9. Hipstamatic updates with new free film/flash combos. I could go on for hours about this app on my iPhone and how happy it makes me, but I won't. But to get a free flash and film this morning? Hooray!!
10. Grapefruit sorbet from Jeni's Ice Cream's. I ate my entire pint the other day, and died a little. It's over for the season, so I may have to move on to Corn Syrup Custard with Whiskey and Pecans to fill the void.
11. My husband's version of the Up North cocktail from our favorite Detroit restaurant. It is deadly.
12. Scarves. I love wearing them in their many soft and lovely forms this time of year.
13. My favorite coffee mug that I can fit my entire hand into.
14. The photograph in front of me of Currituck Sound from this past summer. Even when my toes are freezing from the Ohio winter, this makes me feel warm and toasty.
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