I feel like it was just yesterday I was writing a post about thirty-three. What a happy age that is (was). Then here I am now another year older. Another year down the road. Another 365 days of lessons learned, mistakes made, joys multiplied. With each year passing, I shake my head at how quickly they seem to move. For my junior high school students, one month is an eternity, a year is a length that they can barely wrap their brains around. For me, it is a blink of an eye.
Thirty years ago today, I turned four. I wasn't yet in school. My memories of the time before pre-school began the following year are fuzzy at best. A toddler brother. My favorite pink pajamas with the fluttery sleeves. Tulip, my giant stuffed dog at the end of my bed, named for her flannel covering dotted with red tulips. My tricycle that was blue. Still fearful of mustaches and thunderstorms. The world was a giant adventure for me, and I was excited by it all.
Twenty years ago I was marching up the front lawn of my parents' home after a full day of 8th grade, carrying about a dozen Mylar balloons. The fad in my middle school was to collect as many balloons as you could from friends on your birthday. The more balloons, the more clout you had. I had a banner year in 1992. I may have been a band nerd, but I was the coolest band nerd on the block.
Ten years ago I hit twenty four. I had met the man who was to become my husband. We wouldn't start dating for a few more weeks though. Of all the birthdays I have ever had, it was the loneliest. My beloved grandmother had passed one month prior. I was living across the state from my family. I felt completely alone. I can still remember driving my little red Beetle down the highway and thinking that the birthday card from grandma would be in my mailbox when I got home. This thought was quickly followed by the realization that there wouldn't be any more from her. I would spend that day alone in my tiny apartment. Little did I know how much my life was about to change.
Today I feel like I am the luckiest woman I know. I have a beautiful little family. I am surrounded by friends. I have a comfortable home that is my favorite place in the world. Every day I get to laugh, hug, smile, kiss, talk to and with, the man I am lucky enough to share this life with. The other day our son asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told him "to spend time with the men I love most-him and his dad." I am fortunate to have expanded my world beyond that of my four year-old self. Wise enough to know the true measure of love and friendship is not measured by the number of balloons (or gifts) given to me. Blessed in the replacement of loneliness with love and happiness. What other gifts can a woman need?
Thirty-four, I welcome you. Let us see what new challenges, struggles, joys, and wisdom you shall bring to me.
notes from the middle
Showing posts with label Birthday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthday. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Letter to a Five Year Old Boy
I write this on the twenty-first of February. Five years ago today was the last full day of pregnancy for me. I was on bed rest. Skyrocketing blood pressure caused me to take to the couch for the final weeks of pregnancy. I was scheduled for an appointment on February twenty-second. I remember hoping things were just bad enough that they would induce me, because I was massively uncomfortable, swollen, I couldn't eat much, and I desperately wanted our boy to make his appearance in the world. Twenty four hours later, he did. February 23, 2007 at nearly 2am.
Five years have come and gone. Five years! How can that possibly be? We have transitioned from spit-up rags, tiny diapers, infant-sized ball caps and bottles to electric guitars, slime, youth-sized ball caps, and requests for root beer with dinner. That first year I had an ever-present companion that rested like a turtle on my chest. Our summer was blissful-first feeding at sunrise, back to sleep for the both of us for a few hours, then playtime. Lots of rocking on the porch swing watching the sunshine play with the trees. Tasting the salt in the air at the beach. Now our summers aren't much different-I am tackled in the mornings by a man-child who wants his "lovins." He loves to play in the sand, dirt, or grass. Evenings we catch the sunset together in our same spot.
We love watching you grow little boy. Just the other day your dad and I talked about what a bundle of personality you have turned into. You are so generous with your love and generous spirit. And I love how grateful you are for things. Your sense of humor is still developing, but my goodness what a sense of humor it already is! And the sarcasm you have-and you're only five! You are a perfect match for our family. You show such compassion for anyone who is hurting-quick to hug, kiss, and give love to those who need it. Only five short years ago we didn't have you as a daily presence in our lives, and yet we cannot imagine a single second without you in it.
I so look forward to the coming years. To the discoveries you'll have. To our adventures as a family. I savor each day with you and our little family. Our baseball games where you ask your dad one million and one questions. Football games where you cheer for both teams without realizing it. Dinners out when you flirt with the waitresses. Car trips when you name each and every vehicle on the road. Life with you is magical and fun. Happiest of birthdays little man. Here's to many, many more.
Love,
Momma
Five years have come and gone. Five years! How can that possibly be? We have transitioned from spit-up rags, tiny diapers, infant-sized ball caps and bottles to electric guitars, slime, youth-sized ball caps, and requests for root beer with dinner. That first year I had an ever-present companion that rested like a turtle on my chest. Our summer was blissful-first feeding at sunrise, back to sleep for the both of us for a few hours, then playtime. Lots of rocking on the porch swing watching the sunshine play with the trees. Tasting the salt in the air at the beach. Now our summers aren't much different-I am tackled in the mornings by a man-child who wants his "lovins." He loves to play in the sand, dirt, or grass. Evenings we catch the sunset together in our same spot.
We love watching you grow little boy. Just the other day your dad and I talked about what a bundle of personality you have turned into. You are so generous with your love and generous spirit. And I love how grateful you are for things. Your sense of humor is still developing, but my goodness what a sense of humor it already is! And the sarcasm you have-and you're only five! You are a perfect match for our family. You show such compassion for anyone who is hurting-quick to hug, kiss, and give love to those who need it. Only five short years ago we didn't have you as a daily presence in our lives, and yet we cannot imagine a single second without you in it.
I so look forward to the coming years. To the discoveries you'll have. To our adventures as a family. I savor each day with you and our little family. Our baseball games where you ask your dad one million and one questions. Football games where you cheer for both teams without realizing it. Dinners out when you flirt with the waitresses. Car trips when you name each and every vehicle on the road. Life with you is magical and fun. Happiest of birthdays little man. Here's to many, many more.
Love,
Momma
Monday, October 10, 2011
3 X 11
15 + 15 + 3
Thirty-Three
Three times Eleven
Happy Birthday to Me!
Today I am 33 years old. Double 3. I like the number. It sounds happy. Fun. Skippy. And I am not afraid of getting older, so I have no fears of putting my age out there for all to see.
33.
Ten years ago I was a first-year teacher. Working long days in a classroom, heading to a second job in the evenings at The Gap, then back to my school to direct the fall play. I taught Senior English to students five years my junior. Some of them are seasoned educators themselves now. Parents. Married. Own homes. But to me they're still those fresh-faced teenagers pouring over prom magazines, wearing football uniforms on Fridays, fretting over where they sit at lunch each day, and peeling out of the parking lot each afternoon. My first (of many, many) students. I had a small apartment then. 1/4 of a large Victorian house in a small Northeastern Ohio town. I drove a red VW Beetle. I spent my Sunday afternoons in a Borders Books Cafe grading papers, downing latte after latte, and reading any magazine hot off the presses.
Ten years prior I was in seventh grade. Deep into the throes of early adolescence. I was the definition of awkward. Giant red-framed glasses. A perpetual perm in my blonde hair. Giant bangs. I was a band nerd of the first degree. I read anything I could get my hands on. L.M. Montgomery was my writer of choice, and Anne (with an 'e') was my heroine. I had crushes, loved Boyz 2 Men, and watched Gone with the Wind at my grandma's house nearly every Friday (unless we were in a mood for Dr. Zhivago or When Harry Met Sally). I thought turning 13 would change my life. All it did was add body-image issues and angst. Oh, the angst.
Today I am 33. I am married. I am a mother and step mother. I am a school counselor. I have a home that feels like the perfect nest I always wanted. My life is nothing like I imagined and everything I ever wanted. Each day I consider myself incredibly lucky to have the life I do. To be married to the husband that I have, who makes me feel more beautiful than I could have imagined when I was 13. To have a son who fills our home with mirth that was so lacking in my lonely apartment when I was 23. To have a stepdaughter who shares my sense of humor and will keep me from fashion disasters. Yes, life at 33 is so much more grand. Happy of happiest days to me!
Thirty-Three
Three times Eleven
Happy Birthday to Me!
Today I am 33 years old. Double 3. I like the number. It sounds happy. Fun. Skippy. And I am not afraid of getting older, so I have no fears of putting my age out there for all to see.
33.
Ten years ago I was a first-year teacher. Working long days in a classroom, heading to a second job in the evenings at The Gap, then back to my school to direct the fall play. I taught Senior English to students five years my junior. Some of them are seasoned educators themselves now. Parents. Married. Own homes. But to me they're still those fresh-faced teenagers pouring over prom magazines, wearing football uniforms on Fridays, fretting over where they sit at lunch each day, and peeling out of the parking lot each afternoon. My first (of many, many) students. I had a small apartment then. 1/4 of a large Victorian house in a small Northeastern Ohio town. I drove a red VW Beetle. I spent my Sunday afternoons in a Borders Books Cafe grading papers, downing latte after latte, and reading any magazine hot off the presses.
Ten years prior I was in seventh grade. Deep into the throes of early adolescence. I was the definition of awkward. Giant red-framed glasses. A perpetual perm in my blonde hair. Giant bangs. I was a band nerd of the first degree. I read anything I could get my hands on. L.M. Montgomery was my writer of choice, and Anne (with an 'e') was my heroine. I had crushes, loved Boyz 2 Men, and watched Gone with the Wind at my grandma's house nearly every Friday (unless we were in a mood for Dr. Zhivago or When Harry Met Sally). I thought turning 13 would change my life. All it did was add body-image issues and angst. Oh, the angst.
Today I am 33. I am married. I am a mother and step mother. I am a school counselor. I have a home that feels like the perfect nest I always wanted. My life is nothing like I imagined and everything I ever wanted. Each day I consider myself incredibly lucky to have the life I do. To be married to the husband that I have, who makes me feel more beautiful than I could have imagined when I was 13. To have a son who fills our home with mirth that was so lacking in my lonely apartment when I was 23. To have a stepdaughter who shares my sense of humor and will keep me from fashion disasters. Yes, life at 33 is so much more grand. Happy of happiest days to me!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The event
I'm taking advantage of being iced into our house (literally...there is a thick coating of ice on everything outside!) to answer some emails, read some news feeds, and to...
...wait...
(cue the music)
Order our son's fourth birthday gift!
We decided last year that instead of a physical gift, we would give him an experience with us...some sort of event. Right now he is too young to really pick it out, but as he gets older we will allow him to pick out what he would like to go and do. Last year we took him to see Nick Jr. Live. While I would rather poke my eyes out with spoons than watch the Backyardigans on stage, seeing Jack's eyes light up each time Moose and Zee were right in front of him made it all worth it. He was mesmerized. We even got him his first "concert" t-shirt.
This year, Toy Story on Ice is coming to our area right around his birthday. If you ever read this blog, then you know that our son is obsessed with all things Toy Story. He sleeps on Toy Story sheets, under a Toy Story fleece blanket, has several Toy Story shirts he wears in rotation, got every Toy Story toy you can imagine for Christmas-including his beloved Buzz Lightyear. He owns all three Toy Story DVD's as well. Before Christmas, when he got up on the weekends, he used to come straight to our bed and climb in for "some lovin." Now he heads straight for his toys and digs out his Buzz and then comes to our room. Sigh.
Well, I managed to snag him (and us, by default) second-row, rink side seats for the matinee! His little eyes are going to pop out of his giant noggin. While I still would rather go to a rock concert than Disney on Ice, to see his hero come to life will be worth it. We can't help it...we love this boy like crazy!
...wait...
(cue the music)
Order our son's fourth birthday gift!
We decided last year that instead of a physical gift, we would give him an experience with us...some sort of event. Right now he is too young to really pick it out, but as he gets older we will allow him to pick out what he would like to go and do. Last year we took him to see Nick Jr. Live. While I would rather poke my eyes out with spoons than watch the Backyardigans on stage, seeing Jack's eyes light up each time Moose and Zee were right in front of him made it all worth it. He was mesmerized. We even got him his first "concert" t-shirt.
This year, Toy Story on Ice is coming to our area right around his birthday. If you ever read this blog, then you know that our son is obsessed with all things Toy Story. He sleeps on Toy Story sheets, under a Toy Story fleece blanket, has several Toy Story shirts he wears in rotation, got every Toy Story toy you can imagine for Christmas-including his beloved Buzz Lightyear. He owns all three Toy Story DVD's as well. Before Christmas, when he got up on the weekends, he used to come straight to our bed and climb in for "some lovin." Now he heads straight for his toys and digs out his Buzz and then comes to our room. Sigh.
Well, I managed to snag him (and us, by default) second-row, rink side seats for the matinee! His little eyes are going to pop out of his giant noggin. While I still would rather go to a rock concert than Disney on Ice, to see his hero come to life will be worth it. We can't help it...we love this boy like crazy!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
32
This past weekend marked the passing of another birthday for me. I've never been one who gets all wrapped up in age. Not going to announce myself as "29 again" or "29 and holding" as I hear some fellow women do. When I was younger I was always mistaken for someone much younger. As a junior high student, people thought I was elementary aged. In high school, it was "how is middle school treating you?" When I was student teaching, it took the staff a while before they stopped asking for my hall pass-in a junior high school. As a first-year teacher, on the first day of school a group of senior boys asked me if I was new. When I said yes, they asked if I wanted to sit with them in the senior class meeting that morning. They thought I was a new student. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind the confusion. The way I figure it, if I kept getting confused for someone 10 years my junior, by the time I am 50, I'll look 40. I can live with that. But the thing is, I don't care if I look my age though. I'm mystified with all this-let's try to look as young as possible-trend. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be in my 30's and beyond. Now that I am, I love it. I don't miss those dreadful 20's at all. I don't miss all the self-doubt, the feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, the trying to measure up professionally and personally. I feel pretty damn good about myself. From what I hear, it only gets better from this point forward. I relish each and every birthday I have. I am proud of the number of candles on my cake. While I do use a skin care cream, it is a SPF one to ward off skin cancer...not to protect myself from looking my age. Bring on those wrinkles. It will show that I have lived a full, rich life. Now that I have survived youth, I can survive anything. Just don't make me go back and do that part over. For anyone who says those years were the best, don't believe it...they're lying. (lying)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Our favorite celebration cake
Before I get to the recipe post, I have a little story to tell...
A few years ago, it was my husband's birthday. His favorite cake in the entire world is carrot cake. He orders it whenever it is on a menu just so he "knows if it is any good." I decided to surprise him that year with a three-layer, from scratch (freshly shredded carrots and all) carrot cake. Complete with cream cheese frosting...thick frosting. When he arrived home and saw his cake he got all misty-eyed over it. I was really taken aback. It was just a cake. We've all had birthday cakes at one time or another. I mean, this one was rather massive, given that I possess 10-inch round cake pans. But still, misty eyes on my husband? He just couldn't believe I had snuck in a cake-baking while going through a day of Thanksgiving preparations. Thus begun our first Clark family tradition. Each immediate member of our family gets one three-layer, scratch baked cake for their birthday. We have had the following over the years: carrot, German chocolate, coconut, dark chocolate, chocolate with peanut butter filling, and more chocolate. The running theme is chocolate though. We Clarks love our chocolate. This recipe I am about to share is hands-down our #1 favorite chocolate cake. It is melt-in-your-mouth moist, deeply dark, sinfully delicious, and not too sweet. I got the recipe out of Ina Garten's "Barefoot Contessa At Home" cookbook. I'll add my own pointers along the way, but truly, this is a cake that you can bake for anyone you love and they will melt with bliss. (so will you)
Thanks barefoot contessa...love the Clark family.
beatty's chocolate cake
(this is for 2 8-inch round pans...I have to make 1.5 of this recipe to fill my 3 10-inch rounds)
butter for greasing the pans
13/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for the pans
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup good cocoa powder (I use Hershey's, and over the years have transitioned to more and more of it being the special dark, with about 3/4 of the amount being regular cocoa powder)
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup buttermilk, shaken (don't skimp...get the best buttermilk you can find for this!)
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 extra large eggs (I'm not kidding...extra large is a MUST. Your baking will be so much better-trust me)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup freshly brewed hot coffee
Chocolate Frosting (recipe to follow instructions)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter two 8-inch round cake pans. Line with parchment paper, then butter and four the pans. (Don't skip the parchment paper part, unless you don't want your cakes to come out of the pan cleanly)
Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment and mix on low speed until combined. In another bowl, combine the buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla. With the mixer on low speed, slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry. With the mixer still on low, add the coffee and stir just to combine, scraping the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula. (This is where I always freak out because the cake batter looks like dark brown water. Don't worry, this is correct. It looks like chocolate soup, but will be fine.) Evenly measure the batter into your prepared cake pans and bake for 35-40 minutes until a cake tester comes out clean. Cool in the pans for 30 minutes, then turn them out onto a cooling rack and cool completely.
Place one layer, flat side up, on a flat plate or cake pedestal. With a knife or offset spatula, spread the top with frosting. Place the second layer on top, rounded side up, and spread the frosting evenly on the top and sides of the cake.
chocolate frosting
6 ounces good semisweet chocolate (DO NOT use chocolate chips, because they contain stabilizers and won't melt properly)
1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter at room temperature
1 extra large egg yolk at room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
13/4 cups sifted confectioners' sugar
1 tablespoon instant coffee powder
Chop the chocolate and place in a heat-proof bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Stir until just melted and set aside until cooled to room temperature.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter on medium-high speed until light yellow and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the egg yolk and vanilla and continue beating for 3 minutes. Turn the mixer to low, gradually add the confectioners' sugar, then beat at medium speed, scraping down the bowl as necessary, until smooth and creamy. Dissolve the coffee powder in 2 teaspoons of the hottest tap water. On low speed, add the chocolate and coffee to the butter mixture and mix until blended. Don't whip! Spread immediately on the cooled cake.
Here are a few tips I've gotten over the years on baking:
Always use extra large eggs...my baking has gotten so much better since I switched. I can't put my finger on it, but I promise you that you'll notice a difference
Do NOT pack flour into measuring cups! Drop it in with a spoon until it heaps over, then scrape with a knife to even it off.
Always sift dry ingredients. You don't know what you'll find in there. Blech.
I'll add pics later. You'll be tempted to lick your computer screen, but don't. It will make a mess. Just go bake the cake instead.
A few years ago, it was my husband's birthday. His favorite cake in the entire world is carrot cake. He orders it whenever it is on a menu just so he "knows if it is any good." I decided to surprise him that year with a three-layer, from scratch (freshly shredded carrots and all) carrot cake. Complete with cream cheese frosting...thick frosting. When he arrived home and saw his cake he got all misty-eyed over it. I was really taken aback. It was just a cake. We've all had birthday cakes at one time or another. I mean, this one was rather massive, given that I possess 10-inch round cake pans. But still, misty eyes on my husband? He just couldn't believe I had snuck in a cake-baking while going through a day of Thanksgiving preparations. Thus begun our first Clark family tradition. Each immediate member of our family gets one three-layer, scratch baked cake for their birthday. We have had the following over the years: carrot, German chocolate, coconut, dark chocolate, chocolate with peanut butter filling, and more chocolate. The running theme is chocolate though. We Clarks love our chocolate. This recipe I am about to share is hands-down our #1 favorite chocolate cake. It is melt-in-your-mouth moist, deeply dark, sinfully delicious, and not too sweet. I got the recipe out of Ina Garten's "Barefoot Contessa At Home" cookbook. I'll add my own pointers along the way, but truly, this is a cake that you can bake for anyone you love and they will melt with bliss. (so will you)
Thanks barefoot contessa...love the Clark family.
beatty's chocolate cake
(this is for 2 8-inch round pans...I have to make 1.5 of this recipe to fill my 3 10-inch rounds)
butter for greasing the pans
13/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for the pans
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup good cocoa powder (I use Hershey's, and over the years have transitioned to more and more of it being the special dark, with about 3/4 of the amount being regular cocoa powder)
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup buttermilk, shaken (don't skimp...get the best buttermilk you can find for this!)
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 extra large eggs (I'm not kidding...extra large is a MUST. Your baking will be so much better-trust me)
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup freshly brewed hot coffee
Chocolate Frosting (recipe to follow instructions)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Butter two 8-inch round cake pans. Line with parchment paper, then butter and four the pans. (Don't skip the parchment paper part, unless you don't want your cakes to come out of the pan cleanly)
Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment and mix on low speed until combined. In another bowl, combine the buttermilk, oil, eggs, and vanilla. With the mixer on low speed, slowly add the wet ingredients to the dry. With the mixer still on low, add the coffee and stir just to combine, scraping the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula. (This is where I always freak out because the cake batter looks like dark brown water. Don't worry, this is correct. It looks like chocolate soup, but will be fine.) Evenly measure the batter into your prepared cake pans and bake for 35-40 minutes until a cake tester comes out clean. Cool in the pans for 30 minutes, then turn them out onto a cooling rack and cool completely.
Place one layer, flat side up, on a flat plate or cake pedestal. With a knife or offset spatula, spread the top with frosting. Place the second layer on top, rounded side up, and spread the frosting evenly on the top and sides of the cake.
chocolate frosting
6 ounces good semisweet chocolate (DO NOT use chocolate chips, because they contain stabilizers and won't melt properly)
1/2 pound (2 sticks) unsalted butter at room temperature
1 extra large egg yolk at room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
13/4 cups sifted confectioners' sugar
1 tablespoon instant coffee powder
Chop the chocolate and place in a heat-proof bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Stir until just melted and set aside until cooled to room temperature.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter on medium-high speed until light yellow and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the egg yolk and vanilla and continue beating for 3 minutes. Turn the mixer to low, gradually add the confectioners' sugar, then beat at medium speed, scraping down the bowl as necessary, until smooth and creamy. Dissolve the coffee powder in 2 teaspoons of the hottest tap water. On low speed, add the chocolate and coffee to the butter mixture and mix until blended. Don't whip! Spread immediately on the cooled cake.
Here are a few tips I've gotten over the years on baking:
Always use extra large eggs...my baking has gotten so much better since I switched. I can't put my finger on it, but I promise you that you'll notice a difference
Do NOT pack flour into measuring cups! Drop it in with a spoon until it heaps over, then scrape with a knife to even it off.
Always sift dry ingredients. You don't know what you'll find in there. Blech.
I'll add pics later. You'll be tempted to lick your computer screen, but don't. It will make a mess. Just go bake the cake instead.
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