As a school counselor, I am blissfully aware that I am home from the middle of June through the middle of August (give or take a few days). This means for the time being, I am a stay-at-home mom and am privy to the thoroughly enjoyable insights spouted off at random by our son. You know him...this one conducting a business call in our dining room with a telephone that isn't plugged in...
(Upon exiting our car at the grocery store and examining the car parked directly next to us)
J: Mom, there must be dinosaurs around here.
Me: (not really listening) mmmmmhmmmmmmm...
J: Like Brachiosaurus or T-Rex
Me: (figuring out he may be crazy) What are you talking about? Dinosaurs are extinct!
J: Obviously not, because one put a giant dent in that car with its tail. Duh. (shaking his head with disgust)
Clearly I know little about dinosaurs. My science education was a bust.
Or this morning, instead of a normal "good morning" there were demands and expectations...
J: Where's our space ship?
Me: (trying to hug him with little success) Um, you mean any space ship?
J: No. Ours.
Me: Well, I...um...well...I don't know.
J: You lost it?! But I wanted to go to the moon! I've never seen the moon! I always wondered what it looked like! (insert giant sigh)
Me: (calling after him as he wandered into the bathroom) Sorry buddy. Maybe someday we will get it back!
I want to know where in the parenting manual we were supposed to be prepared for five year olds who expect dinosaurs to dent our cars and space ships to be parked behind our houses. Oh, and use phrases like "all my life."