Friday, July 8, 2011

Nervous Twitches

I hate, no loathe, this time of the month.  Girls you know what I'm talking about.  Those days leading up to you-know-what.  When you're just a bit puffy in the fingers and toes, you get headaches, you want nothing but junk food, and as one of my BFF's says "you get that floaty feeling" (she's so right).  It's just so...ugh.  Well, in the past year or so, maybe longer, I don't know, I've started getting terribly, horribly anxious for a few days.  The kind of anxiety where I feel like I am stuck on a hamster wheel and cannot get off.  Where if I can just be distracted from my brain I am okay, but whenever it gets quiet, say at bedtime, I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest and my arms and legs are going to run off my body in four different directions.  It kills me.  Then one morning I wake up and like magic, it is gone.  I can't even tell you right now what is making me anxious.  I'm on summer vacation.  I spent the day with the two boys I love better than anything in this whole wide world.  We ate cake for dinner.  Freaking cake.  Yet I can't seem to type this fast enough because the moment the cursor starts blinking I start thinking.  Ugh.  

Is there anyone else out there who gets this way?  I have been researching natural remedies to this anxiety that may help.  I don't want to eliminate my cycle.  I don't want medicine-I try to be as unmedicated as possible.  I have to take too much for migraines as it is.  I just need some sort of method to cope for three days each month, 36 days each year. 

Boy, when I write it out like that, it seems more awful than I've allowed myself to believe.  36 days is over one month.  Over one-half of this lovely summer vacation.  Half of an entire season if you look at it based on weather patterns.  I know I'm rambling a bit here, but seriously, today is the worst, and I know that tomorrow I'll start feeling a little better and by Sunday I will start to come back to myself again.  If I can just hang in there for about 48 more hours.  And if my family can too.

Unless someone jams this darn hamster wheel for me before then!

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