Oh anxiety. How I've (not) missed you.
Truly, since I last wrote about dealing with anxiety it has seemed to go away. We have been making small changes in our lives at home that have really seemed to help a great deal. It started with our running program. We are in week seven of the training and while my muscles continue to ache a little from time to time, I am feeling fantastic. Full of energy during the day and sleeping well most nights. I've pretty much stopped drinking regular, full-sugar pop. For those of you who know me, I should have warned you to sit down before reading that sentence! I can't say that it was a conscious decision. It wasn't as though I decided one morning that I would eliminate it from my diet. But over the past seven weeks it has worked its way out. Of course now that it is gone, I am consciously making an effort to keep it gone. (and boy, what an effort that can be at times!)
Then there is the whole food thing...we are eating better on more days of the week. We decided back when we started running that we wouldn't overhaul our lives all at once. Whenever we did that the moment one of us went off the wagon the whole cart would overturn and we were done for. This time it has been little baby steps. And it isn't too bad. I'm choosing more healthy snacks when I'm hungry than I am unhealthy ones. I'm trying to cook more healthy meals for us during the weeknights. And when we feel like eating pizza, or having a Five Guys burger-we do. No biggie.
Also, I'm up to one day of yoga each week. I added it in three weeks ago and am keeping it at one day per week until we finish our training program. It is the Body by Bethenny program. I have several others that are a bit more "beginner" than this one is. But this program kicks my butt-which is what I wanted. There are still some poses I can't do, some that make me start shaking and fall to the floor, but this past week I was able to complete a few I couldn't at the beginning! So baby steps, right?
Anyhow, the anxiety has been pretty much non-existent. I figured with the new fitness regime in our life, better sleeping and eating habits, it has to get better. Well, yesterday I noticed twinges of it returning. So I relied on some of the meditation and self-talk techniques I taught myself last summer. I didn't have the best night's sleep, but I was able to rest some, and talk myself down from the worst of anxious moments I have had in the past. It wasn't the same "my chest is on fire and I want to run screaming from the moment" feeling. Baby steps here too, right?
I am not a fan of drugs or medication. Not that I won't use them if needed. But if I can fix whatever ails me without pills, then I will. And if I can conquer my anxiety with a better diet, better physical health, better sleep, and some good emergency techniques stashed in my back pocket for times of need-I will. If not, to the doctor I will go.
And for the moment, I am okay. It is raining outside. A glorious, delightful spring rain with warm air. The robins have returned with their songs. I have a run scheduled for this evening when the sun is set to return. We are having banana pancakes for dinner too. What more can a girl ask for? That and some planned snuggles from my two best guys. I think I'll be okay.
notes from the middle
