Monday, April 18, 2011

The Hover Pee

Ladies, this is directed at, or directly for you.  

Have you ever gone into a public restroom only to discover that the seat you are about to place yourself on has been, well, substantially dampened?  I am calling for an end to this.  It is a direct result of a phenomenon that I like to call the Hover Pee.  

We all know exactly what I'm talking about.  (well, all of us who are females do)  It is when you "hover" over the public toilet to relieve yourself, rather than to actually sit on the seat.  I know, I've heard all sorts of arguments in favor of the hover pee.  Most center around other hover peeing individuals. 

"I don't want to sit in someone else's urine." (Whatever, you are just part of the problem)

"I don't want to get a disease."  (Really, have we not taken health in the past 50 years girls?!)

"It is just gross."  (Let's not be specific, or anything)

Here is my suggestion.  We (the women against hover peeing) can ban together and campaign against such practices in public restrooms.  Once it stops there will be no need for it.  (Well, except in bars.  Those will be gross no matter if we eliminate hover peeing or not, so they're exempt)  There shall be a stall in each public restroom for hover peeing individuals.  The rest of us may feel free to utilize other stalls at our leisure.  Fully aware that there won't be, um, excess dampness on the seats.

Ladies of the world, you can thank me.  Anyone with logo suggestions, feel free to email them to me.  

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